Last night there was a bunch of elections last night, and of all 8 (I think, I didn't count), the democrats won 1, and even that was kind of sad, because to Democrat Bill Owens only won by 4 percent, to 3rd party candidate Doug Hoffman, who no one has ever heard of, after liberal Republican Dede Scozafava (who I would never vote for in a million years) dropped out of the race and supported Democrat Bill Owens. Oh and did you know Hoffman doesn't even live in the district. And Owens only won by FOUR percent.
In other Election news, Republican Chris Christie defeated incumbent Democratic Governor John Corzine in New Jersey, a very democrat state. Most people said they voted for Christie because they didn't like Corzine's commercials attacking Christie because of his weight. Now, I was thinking "That has nothing to do with the issues!"
Then I found out that Chris Christie weighs 550 pounds.
My initial reaction, much like yours, was something along the lines of: Holy Cow! (no pun intended), really? Yes, really.
This was very close to a serious political post, however, since serious isn't what we do here at Blgwrer; I leave you with this:
PENGUIN BOOGERS.
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Truth about the lincoln Assassination
You've probably heard what the government says about the Lincoln Assassination, John Wilkes Boothe shot him in the head at Ford's Theater, and he jumped down and broke his leg. Well, get ready for the truth!
You see, Lincoln and Boothe were best friends, And used to preform together as magicians. The Crowd loved seeing them do the dangerous Bullet Catch so much that the public unanimously decided to make him president. One night Lincoln and Boothe were preforming in the ford theater, Lincoln had a bullet in his hand, and Boothe fired the unloaded gun towards his head. However this time someone had slipped a bullet into the gun. Boothe, shocked, backed away and fell of the stage, breaking his leg.
You've never heard this because the history books that Boothe shot him in the head, as they were all written by the Freemasons, in affiliation with the person who put the bullet into the gun, none other than Sasquatch.
You see, Lincoln and Boothe were best friends, And used to preform together as magicians. The Crowd loved seeing them do the dangerous Bullet Catch so much that the public unanimously decided to make him president. One night Lincoln and Boothe were preforming in the ford theater, Lincoln had a bullet in his hand, and Boothe fired the unloaded gun towards his head. However this time someone had slipped a bullet into the gun. Boothe, shocked, backed away and fell of the stage, breaking his leg.
You've never heard this because the history books that Boothe shot him in the head, as they were all written by the Freemasons, in affiliation with the person who put the bullet into the gun, none other than Sasquatch.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Deepak Chopra
For readers who did not know who Deepak Chopra is, he is a hindu public speaker. He is also a Friendly Artistic Guy, abbriviared FAG. So, to recap, Deepak Chopra is a FAG. There are others, for example, Clay Aiken is a FAG, and Al Gore is a FAG.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
WOW
Twitter is unpredictable
I called deepak chopra a hippie or a drug addict
then i get more twitter followers and no complain from deepak
Which made me think maybe Deepak is a hippie or drug addict
I called deepak chopra a hippie or a drug addict
then i get more twitter followers and no complain from deepak
Which made me think maybe Deepak is a hippie or drug addict
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Mockin' MoveOn!
It's time again! let's get this done.
Dear MoveOn member,
Who's that and why is he in my house? Oh yeah... I'm "MoveOn Member"
Dear MoveOn member,
Who's that and why is he in my house? Oh yeah... I'm "MoveOn Member"
The health care fight has turned ugly, fast. Right-wing mobs are crashing congressional town halls,
All the Town hall meeting I've been to were crashed by left-wingers
lies are spreading via anonymous email chains,
I'm pretty sure It's impossible to send an anonymous email
and Sarah Palin bizarrely said that President Obama was going to set up a "death panel," whatever that is.
You can't say something "bizarrely" Stupid Spell-check, I KNOW how Palin is spelled.
Many of these claims are just incredible—but if we don't fight back with the truth, the right will continue to poison the health care debate. So as part of our Real Voices for Change campaign this August, we're working to set the record straight.
Check out the list below: "Top Five Health Care Lies—and How to Fight Back." Can you spread the word by passing this email along to 10 of your friends today?
No, I got this email like 2 weeks ago.
Also, if you're on Facebook, please post the list today by clicking here: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=
Oh, so you want to start an anonymous twitter chain. I'm sure it's much better than an email chain
Top Five Health Care Reform Lies—and How to Fight Back
Lie #1: President Obama wants to euthanize your grandma!!!
The triple exclamation point doesn't help The truth: These accusations—of "death panels" and forced euthanasia—are, of course, flatly untrue.
While the words "death Panel" are not in the bill, there is one.
As an article from the Associated Press puts it: "No 'death panel' in health care bill."
In case you're wondering, yes, "No 'Death panel' In health care bill" is actually the headline. (also, you can't prove he doesn't want to)
What's the real deal? Reform legislation includes a provision, supported by the AARP, to offer senior citizens access to a professional medical counselor who will provide them with information on preparing a living will and other issues facing older Americans.
You can't just take any old words from the bill and use it as proof. That's like saying, "The Constitution doesn't say 'right to keep and bear arms', it says 'We the People' "
Lie #2: Democrats are going to outlaw private insurance and force you into a government plan!!!
Look, here's the real truth. You are allowed to keep your insurance, however, if you have no insurance, you're on the government plan and you can't get off. And if, say, you get fired and lose/can't pay for insurance, you're on the plan for good. Also, all the insurance companies have to meet the same standards the government does. Standards that are impossible unless, say, you get a ton of money each year, and you can print your own. Like, oh say, The Government. But they're right. The government isn't planning anything. Pay no attention to silly things like "facts" that I say. I'm just an unfrozen caveman.
The truth: With reform, choices will increase, not decrease. Obama's reform plans will create a health insurance exchange, a one-stop shopping marketplace for affordable, high-quality insurance options. Included in the exchange is the public health insurance option—a nationwide plan with a broad network of providers—that will operate alongside private insurance companies, injecting competition into the market to drive quality up and costs down.
Now you're just making crap up.
If you're happy with your coverage and doctors, you can keep them.
That's true
But the new public plan will expand choices to millions of businesses or individuals who choose to opt into it, including many who simply can't afford health care now.
Lie #3: President Obama wants to implement Soviet-style rationing!!!
Think about this. The government gives you health care. The government pays for things like bypass surgery. you get bypass when you have a heart attack. Studies show that the chance of having a heart attack increases when you eat Fried Chicken. The government is millions of dollars in debt, so how could it pay for bypass surgery? They can't outlaw Fried Chicken, so maybe they do the next best thing: Ration it.
The truth: Health care reform will expand access to high-quality health insurance, and give individuals, families, and businesses more choices for coverage.
What the hell does that have to do with rationing?
Right now, big corporations decide whether to give you coverage, what doctors you get to see, and whether a particular procedure or medicine is covered—that is rationed care. And a big part of reform is to stop that.
1, Big corporations do not decide what doctors you get to see. 2, Insurance is supposed to be for something unforeseeable and important, like bypass surgery. Not Plastic surgery. 3, of course they can decide not to insure you. Has anyone here seen Along Came Polly? That guy would never get insurance. Why? Because it's a retarded move to give it to him.
Health care reform will do away with some of the most nefarious aspects of this rationing: discrimination for pre-existing conditions, insurers that cancel coverage when you get sick, gender discrimination, and lifetime and yearly limits on coverage.
Listen. If you are a smoker that is your own damn fault. It is a pre-existing condition, so stop it. Everything after "pre-existing conditions" is bullshit.
And outside of that, as noted above, reform will increase insurance options, not force anyone into a rationed situation.
Lie #4: Obama is secretly plotting to cut senior citizens' Medicare benefits!!!
That's the thing about a secret plot, it's secret. You can never know.
The truth: Health care reform plans will not reduce Medicare benefits. Reform includes savings from Medicare that are unrelated to patient care—in fact, the savings comes from cutting billions of dollars in overpayments to insurance companies and eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse.
Lie #5: Obama's health care plan will bankrupt America!!!
The truth: We need health care reform now in order to prevent bankruptcy—to control spiraling costs that affect individuals, families, small businesses, and the American economy.
That makes absolutely no sense. Sure, it will take costs of the American, but give it right back as tax increases. It won't bankrupt the federal government, though. That's already bankrupt.
Right now, we spend more than $2 trillion dollars a year on health care.
And the federal government does not. This is a good thing.
The average family premium is projected to rise to over $22,000 in the next decade—and each year, nearly a million people face bankruptcy because of medical expenses.
Two words: Tort Reform
Reform, with an affordable, high-quality public option that can spur competition, is necessary to bring down skyrocketing costs. Also, President Obama's reform plans would be fully paid for over 10 years and not add a penny to the deficit.
Bullshit.
We're closer to real health care reform than we've ever been—and the next few weeks will decide whether it happens. We need to make sure the truth about health care reform is spread far and wide to combat right wing lies.
Can you forward this email to your friends today? And remember, also post it on Facebook by clicking here: http://www.moveon.org/r?r=
Thanks for all you do.
–Nita, Kat, Ilya, Michael and the rest of the team
Where can I get in on this scam? P.S. Want more?
Absolutely not.
Check out this great new White House "Reality Check" website: http://www.whitehouse.gov/
Thursday, August 27, 2009
GET LINUX
Windows 7 Sins: The case against Microsoft and proprietary software
The new version of Microsoft's Windows operating system, Windows 7, has the same problem that Vista, XP, and all previous versions have had -- it's proprietary software. Users are not permitted to share or modify the Windows software, or examine how it works inside.
The fact that Windows 7 is proprietary means that Microsoft asserts legal control over its users through a combination of copyrights, contracts, and patents. Microsoft uses this power to abuse computer users. At windows7sins.org, the Free Software Foundation lists seven examples of abuse committed by Microsoft.
1. Poisoning education: Today, most children whose education involves computers are being taught to use one company's product: Microsoft's. Microsoft spends large sums on lobbyists and marketing to corrupt educational departments. An education using the power of computers should be a means to freedom and empowerment, not an avenue for one corporation to instill its monopoly.
2. Invading privacy: Microsoft uses software with backward names like Windows Genuine Advantage to inspect the contents of users' hard drives. The licensing agreement users are required to accept before using Windows warns that Microsoft claims the right to do this without warning.
3. Monopoly behavior: Nearly every computer purchased has Windows pre-installed -- but not by choice. Microsoft dictates requirements to hardware vendors, who will not offer PCs without Windows installed on them, despite many people asking for them. Even computers available with other operating systems like GNU/Linux pre-installed often had Windows on them first.
4. Lock-in: Microsoft regularly attempts to force updates on its users, by removing support for older versions of Windows and Office, and by inflating hardware requirements. For many people, this means having to throw away working computers just because they don't meet the unnecessary requirements for the new Windows versions.
5. Abusing standards: Microsoft has attempted to block free standardization of document formats, because standards like OpenDocument Format would threaten the control they have now over users via proprietary Word formats. They have engaged in underhanded behavior, including bribing officials, in an attempt to stop such efforts.
6. Enforcing Digital Restrictions Management (DRM): With Windows Media Player, Microsoft works in collusion with the big media companies to build restrictions on copying and playing media into their operating system. For example, at the request of NBC, Microsoft was able to prevent Windows users from recording television shows that they have the legal right to record.
7. Threatening user security: Windows has a long history of security vulnerabilities, enabling the spread of viruses and allowing remote users to take over people's computers for use in spam-sending botnets. Because the software is secret, all users are dependent on Microsoft to fix these problems -- but Microsoft has its own security interests at heart, not those of its users.
Source: http://windows7sins.org/
The new version of Microsoft's Windows operating system, Windows 7, has the same problem that Vista, XP, and all previous versions have had -- it's proprietary software. Users are not permitted to share or modify the Windows software, or examine how it works inside.
The fact that Windows 7 is proprietary means that Microsoft asserts legal control over its users through a combination of copyrights, contracts, and patents. Microsoft uses this power to abuse computer users. At windows7sins.org, the Free Software Foundation lists seven examples of abuse committed by Microsoft.
1. Poisoning education: Today, most children whose education involves computers are being taught to use one company's product: Microsoft's. Microsoft spends large sums on lobbyists and marketing to corrupt educational departments. An education using the power of computers should be a means to freedom and empowerment, not an avenue for one corporation to instill its monopoly.
2. Invading privacy: Microsoft uses software with backward names like Windows Genuine Advantage to inspect the contents of users' hard drives. The licensing agreement users are required to accept before using Windows warns that Microsoft claims the right to do this without warning.
3. Monopoly behavior: Nearly every computer purchased has Windows pre-installed -- but not by choice. Microsoft dictates requirements to hardware vendors, who will not offer PCs without Windows installed on them, despite many people asking for them. Even computers available with other operating systems like GNU/Linux pre-installed often had Windows on them first.
4. Lock-in: Microsoft regularly attempts to force updates on its users, by removing support for older versions of Windows and Office, and by inflating hardware requirements. For many people, this means having to throw away working computers just because they don't meet the unnecessary requirements for the new Windows versions.
5. Abusing standards: Microsoft has attempted to block free standardization of document formats, because standards like OpenDocument Format would threaten the control they have now over users via proprietary Word formats. They have engaged in underhanded behavior, including bribing officials, in an attempt to stop such efforts.
6. Enforcing Digital Restrictions Management (DRM): With Windows Media Player, Microsoft works in collusion with the big media companies to build restrictions on copying and playing media into their operating system. For example, at the request of NBC, Microsoft was able to prevent Windows users from recording television shows that they have the legal right to record.
7. Threatening user security: Windows has a long history of security vulnerabilities, enabling the spread of viruses and allowing remote users to take over people's computers for use in spam-sending botnets. Because the software is secret, all users are dependent on Microsoft to fix these problems -- but Microsoft has its own security interests at heart, not those of its users.
Source: http://windows7sins.org/
Sunday, August 09, 2009
band name
I just thought of the best band name ever:
Chris Chiante and the Fava Beans.
For those 6 of you who don't get it, it it from a quote from Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs, talking about a guy he killed. He remarked, "I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chiante".
Now let me figure out how I know that. I have never seen Silence of the Lambs, and though there are many other movies in that series, I have seen the last 2 minutes of Hannibal, and the first 2 minutes of The one After Hannibal. Nope, still don't have a clue how I know that.
Chris Chiante and the Fava Beans.
For those 6 of you who don't get it, it it from a quote from Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs, talking about a guy he killed. He remarked, "I ate his liver with some Fava beans and a nice Chiante".
Now let me figure out how I know that. I have never seen Silence of the Lambs, and though there are many other movies in that series, I have seen the last 2 minutes of Hannibal, and the first 2 minutes of The one After Hannibal. Nope, still don't have a clue how I know that.
Weirdnessiousity
I am really, really, ridiculously weird. For Example:
I own no CDs
I own 12 Cassette tapes
I own a Record album. (Old Big Vinyl CD)
I know the name of the horse Caligula made Senator (Iccatodis)
I collect glass bottles
I have never resisted the urge to lick a 9-volt
Every word that goes into my head goes through a filter of "would it be a good band name?"
I am afraid of spiders, clowns, and Vince the Shamwow Guy
I buy Oxi-Clean, because I think that If I don't, Billy Mays's ghost will haunt me.
I own no CDs
I own 12 Cassette tapes
I own a Record album. (Old Big Vinyl CD)
I know the name of the horse Caligula made Senator (Iccatodis)
I collect glass bottles
I have never resisted the urge to lick a 9-volt
Every word that goes into my head goes through a filter of "would it be a good band name?"
I am afraid of spiders, clowns, and Vince the Shamwow Guy
I buy Oxi-Clean, because I think that If I don't, Billy Mays's ghost will haunt me.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Winston Churchill
What I respect most about Winston Churchill is that he supplied one of the best Zingers in history. Some woman no one cares about (I forget her name) told him "Sir, if I were your wife, I would poison your coffee." To which he replied "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it". What I respect about that is the fact that he did not follow that up with "BURNED!", as I totally would.
The Tales of Amadeus part VI
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
"We've been had," F explained, "It's a dummy file, stuffed with random pieces of paper, put there to fool us"
Ducky asked "Where's the real one?"
"who knows? They probably relocated it."
There was no way we could get the file now. They relocated it, probably didn't tell a soul, had round the clock security. No way we could get to it.
Ducky had an idea.
We were going to book a hotel room in Topeka, Kansas (Obama was having a press conference there), but stay in D.C., hack into the White house security personnel, add our aliases and pictures, show up, find it, and leave with it. It was perfect.
We were booking the hotel room, when we heard something terrible over a megaphone.
"Come out with your hands up! We know you're in there! Come out, Fred Castana, Chloe Jameson, and Edward Johnson!"
We heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. The jig was up.
To be Continued...
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
"We've been had," F explained, "It's a dummy file, stuffed with random pieces of paper, put there to fool us"
Ducky asked "Where's the real one?"
"who knows? They probably relocated it."
There was no way we could get the file now. They relocated it, probably didn't tell a soul, had round the clock security. No way we could get to it.
Ducky had an idea.
We were going to book a hotel room in Topeka, Kansas (Obama was having a press conference there), but stay in D.C., hack into the White house security personnel, add our aliases and pictures, show up, find it, and leave with it. It was perfect.
We were booking the hotel room, when we heard something terrible over a megaphone.
"Come out with your hands up! We know you're in there! Come out, Fred Castana, Chloe Jameson, and Edward Johnson!"
We heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. The jig was up.
To be Continued...
Edward Cullen is not a vampire
He is a leech-man.
Think about it:
Things Vampires do: Drink blood, turn into bats, melt in sunlight, hypnotize people
Things leeches do: Drink blood, sparkle in sunlight
Things Edward does: Drink blood, sparkle in sunlight
see?
Oh, and if you want to send me hate mail, I'm at Jacoby.eric@gmail.com (even if it's not hate mail, email me if you read this. I want to find out how many readers we have)
Think about it:
Things Vampires do: Drink blood, turn into bats, melt in sunlight, hypnotize people
Things leeches do: Drink blood, sparkle in sunlight
Things Edward does: Drink blood, sparkle in sunlight
see?
Oh, and if you want to send me hate mail, I'm at Jacoby.eric@gmail.com (even if it's not hate mail, email me if you read this. I want to find out how many readers we have)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
What I Did today
Today I went to the library, took a nap, went to Indianapolis to drop of my mom's friend at the airport, finished a book and did some attempted reading.
The Thing about the library is there is some strange chemical in the air that makes any book more interesting than it actually is. It seems like it will be awesome (It's about WWII and SCIENCE!), but turns out to be one of the most boring books created by the hand of man (The book was entitled "Nazi Science". How do you screw that up?).
If you don't know (and you don't) attempted reading is when you pick up a book that seemed interesting at the library, turn it to a random page, stare at the small print and lack of pictures for a while, then groan like a dying rhinoceros, drop the book and do something more interesting, like watch The Matrix, or walk in a circle (I returned my copy of The Matrix to the library already)
The Thing about the library is there is some strange chemical in the air that makes any book more interesting than it actually is. It seems like it will be awesome (It's about WWII and SCIENCE!), but turns out to be one of the most boring books created by the hand of man (The book was entitled "Nazi Science". How do you screw that up?).
If you don't know (and you don't) attempted reading is when you pick up a book that seemed interesting at the library, turn it to a random page, stare at the small print and lack of pictures for a while, then groan like a dying rhinoceros, drop the book and do something more interesting, like watch The Matrix, or walk in a circle (I returned my copy of The Matrix to the library already)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Peter Pan
Some people like the movie Peter Pan, I do not, because it sets children up for serious disappointment IN AMERICA! And I mean SERIOUS Disappointment IN AMERICA! Here's why: Tinkerbell Dies, "I DO believe in faeries, I DO believe in faeries" Tinkerbell is Alive IN AMERICA! Grandpa dies, "I DO believe in grandpa, I DO believe in Grandpa", Grandpa is still dead IN AMERICA!
A million Monkeys...
There is a popular thought experiment that states that If you had a million Monkeys with a million typewriters for a million years, you would have the complete works of Shakespeare IN AMERICA! I disagree, I think that if you had a million monkeys on a million typewriters for a million years, you would get a million dead monkeys, each of which having a typewriter that says fxmfdkcdxxmc,l IN AMERICA! I got that random jumbled mass of letters by repeatedly punching my keyboard, exactly what a Monkey would do IN AMERICA! A million Monkeys with a million typewriters does not necessarily equate to a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters IN AMERICA! Unfortunately, we will never find out for a few reasons; 1: You will not live long enough to record the data 2: Peta would kill you, and 3: Where are you going to get a million typewriters, let alone a million working typewriters IN AMERICA!
Friday, July 17, 2009
something to say
Stay with me, this gets funny IN AMERICA!
I have a confession to make, I am actually an old man IN AMERICA!
And I have something to say: I am sick of you Young people and your Newfangled Ipods, and your Newfangled Iphones, and your Newfangled BlackBerries, and your Newfangled Bluetooth, and your Newfangled Laptop Computers, and your Newfangled Desktop compters, and your Newfangled DVDs, and your Newfangled CDs, and your Newfangled VCRs, and your Newfangled VHS, and your Newfangled Cassette tapes, and your Newfangled Tye-Dye shirts, and your Newfangled MP3s, and your Newfangled Cellular telephones, and your Newfangled Television, and your Newfangled Phonograph, and your Newfangled Tesla Coil, and your Newfangled Automobiles, and your Newfangled Light Bulbs, and your Newfangled AC Power, and your Newfangled DC power, and your Newfangled World War I, and your Newfangled World War II, and your Newfangled Printing Press, and your Newfangled Roman Empire, and your Newfangled Emperor Nero, and your Newfangled Colosseum, and your Newfangled Indoor plumbing, and your Newfangled Pyramids of Giza, and your Newfangled Sphinx, and your Newfangled Birth of Jesus, and your Newfangled Parting of the Red Sea, and your Newfangled 10 commandments, and your Newfangled Ark of the Covenant, and your Newfangled Noah's ark, and your Newfangled Adam, and your Newfangled Eve IN AMERICA!
I have a confession to make, I am actually an old man IN AMERICA!
And I have something to say: I am sick of you Young people and your Newfangled Ipods, and your Newfangled Iphones, and your Newfangled BlackBerries, and your Newfangled Bluetooth, and your Newfangled Laptop Computers, and your Newfangled Desktop compters, and your Newfangled DVDs, and your Newfangled CDs, and your Newfangled VCRs, and your Newfangled VHS, and your Newfangled Cassette tapes, and your Newfangled Tye-Dye shirts, and your Newfangled MP3s, and your Newfangled Cellular telephones, and your Newfangled Television, and your Newfangled Phonograph, and your Newfangled Tesla Coil, and your Newfangled Automobiles, and your Newfangled Light Bulbs, and your Newfangled AC Power, and your Newfangled DC power, and your Newfangled World War I, and your Newfangled World War II, and your Newfangled Printing Press, and your Newfangled Roman Empire, and your Newfangled Emperor Nero, and your Newfangled Colosseum, and your Newfangled Indoor plumbing, and your Newfangled Pyramids of Giza, and your Newfangled Sphinx, and your Newfangled Birth of Jesus, and your Newfangled Parting of the Red Sea, and your Newfangled 10 commandments, and your Newfangled Ark of the Covenant, and your Newfangled Noah's ark, and your Newfangled Adam, and your Newfangled Eve IN AMERICA!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
LOL ZOMG
i was tring to induce farts so i could fart in my sisters face but.....
I popped a blood vesel in my neck while tring
I popped a blood vesel in my neck while tring
Safety Goggles
Reason whatever:
So you're playing chess, and you get your opponent in Checkmate IN AMERICA! Your opponent is a whiny communist baby, and a sore loser, so he stabs you in the eye with his bishop IN AMERICA! BUT, you were wearing safety goggles, so you're fine, and (unless he's wearing them too) you stab HIM in the eye with YOUR bishop IN AMERICA!
So you're playing chess, and you get your opponent in Checkmate IN AMERICA! Your opponent is a whiny communist baby, and a sore loser, so he stabs you in the eye with his bishop IN AMERICA! BUT, you were wearing safety goggles, so you're fine, and (unless he's wearing them too) you stab HIM in the eye with YOUR bishop IN AMERICA!
Friday, July 10, 2009
It's Bankrupting time
Remember when Moveon.org was giving away free stickers and button IN AMERICA! Well, they made a new sticker and it's free too, IN AMERICA! So get your free sticker and help bankrupt MoveOn IN AMERICA!
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Safety Goggles
Reason 4:
Now imagine this: You're a guitarist IN AMERICA! Your bend gets a new sound system, and some dumb Rodie accidently unplugs a ground wire IN AMERICA! you touch the strings and 1,000 amps (Amps are what kill you, not volts), go right into your hand IN AMERICA! You're dead, BUT, you were wearing your safety goggles IN AMERICA! You're still dead, but since they didn't save your life, your family can sue the makers of them, and buy you a nice, shiny casket IN AMERICA!
Now imagine this: You're a guitarist IN AMERICA! Your bend gets a new sound system, and some dumb Rodie accidently unplugs a ground wire IN AMERICA! you touch the strings and 1,000 amps (Amps are what kill you, not volts), go right into your hand IN AMERICA! You're dead, BUT, you were wearing your safety goggles IN AMERICA! You're still dead, but since they didn't save your life, your family can sue the makers of them, and buy you a nice, shiny casket IN AMERICA!
daily "fact"
The Creator of Super Mario Brothers was a drug addict IN AMERICA! How else can you explain why the game uses so many shrooms IN AMERICA!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Safety Goggles
Reason 3:
So you're out for a swim IN AMERICA! Let's say that while you're swimming, you get surrounded by 6 great white sharks IN AMERICA! You're doomed, Right IN AMERICA! WRONG IN AMERICA! You were smart enough to bring your safety goggles, you put them on and they thing "OH NO, A SCIENTIST! He's going to capture me and do weird experiments to us" And promptly swim away IN AMERICA!
Warning: Attempting this will probably get you viciously mauled by 6 great white sharks IN AMERICA!
So you're out for a swim IN AMERICA! Let's say that while you're swimming, you get surrounded by 6 great white sharks IN AMERICA! You're doomed, Right IN AMERICA! WRONG IN AMERICA! You were smart enough to bring your safety goggles, you put them on and they thing "OH NO, A SCIENTIST! He's going to capture me and do weird experiments to us" And promptly swim away IN AMERICA!
Warning: Attempting this will probably get you viciously mauled by 6 great white sharks IN AMERICA!
clashing lyrics
Now I'm sure you've all heard The Beatles "Can't buy me love", and if not just click the link IN AMERICA!
I was listening to it, and the chorus is "I don't care too much for money; Money can't buy me love", and not 30 seconds later, the singer tries to buy someones love IN AMERICA! He sings: "I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too", so isn't that a direct opposition to the chorus IN AMERICA!
I was listening to it, and the chorus is "I don't care too much for money; Money can't buy me love", and not 30 seconds later, the singer tries to buy someones love IN AMERICA! He sings: "I'll give you all I got to give if you say you love me too", so isn't that a direct opposition to the chorus IN AMERICA!
Safety Goggles
Reason 2:
It is very important that you wear safety goggles while blogging, as it is a well known fact that the letters and numbers you type often come to life and try to eat your brain IN AMERICA! Luckily, they are very lazy, so they only go through the path of least resistance: Your eyes IN AMERICA! Safety goggles stop them in their tracks IN AMERICA!
It is very important that you wear safety goggles while blogging, as it is a well known fact that the letters and numbers you type often come to life and try to eat your brain IN AMERICA! Luckily, they are very lazy, so they only go through the path of least resistance: Your eyes IN AMERICA! Safety goggles stop them in their tracks IN AMERICA!
daily "fact"
Every time a bell ring, an angel get it's wings, and every time fireworks go off, an angel's wings catch on fire IN AMERICA!
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Safety Goggles
I want to stress the importance of always wearing safety goggles IN AMERICA! So I decided to make a series of posts about circumstances where you should wear safety goggles (Stick with me, It's gonna get funny) IN AMERICA!
reason #1: Watching fireworks IN AMERICA!
Now I'm not talking about sparklers and worms and stuff, I'm talking about the serious heavy-duty stuff IN AMERICA! If you watch that kind of fireworks without safety goggles could result in awesome rays melting your eyes off IN AMERICA!. Safety goggles stop eyeball-melting rays from reaching your eye IN AMERICA!
reason #1: Watching fireworks IN AMERICA!
Now I'm not talking about sparklers and worms and stuff, I'm talking about the serious heavy-duty stuff IN AMERICA! If you watch that kind of fireworks without safety goggles could result in awesome rays melting your eyes off IN AMERICA!. Safety goggles stop eyeball-melting rays from reaching your eye IN AMERICA!
Saturday, July 04, 2009
IN AMERICA!
July of 2009 is officially "in America" month IN AMERICA!
Now, you may be wondering: What are you talking about IN AMERICA!
In "in America" month, every sentence on this blog (or at least by me) will end with a resounding "in America" IN AMERICA! It could make sense, like "I ate Haggen-Daz IN AMERICA!", or it could make no sense, like "Domo Origato is Japanese for thank you IN AMERICA!" IN AMERICA!
Happy 4th of July IN AMERICA!
Now, you may be wondering: What are you talking about IN AMERICA!
In "in America" month, every sentence on this blog (or at least by me) will end with a resounding "in America" IN AMERICA! It could make sense, like "I ate Haggen-Daz IN AMERICA!", or it could make no sense, like "Domo Origato is Japanese for thank you IN AMERICA!" IN AMERICA!
Happy 4th of July IN AMERICA!
questions to ponder
Watch this dell ad.
Now, Ponder this:
Dell is wasting all their money paying those people, to do what? Stand around singing? It makes no sense, unless the equipment is fueled by the song "Lollipop", in which case they could get a boombox to play it.
Now am I right?
Now, Ponder this:
Dell is wasting all their money paying those people, to do what? Stand around singing? It makes no sense, unless the equipment is fueled by the song "Lollipop", in which case they could get a boombox to play it.
Now am I right?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
HIz
OK THIS IS THE COOLESTESTSETEREST THING EVER
K sorry firefox but i just threw u out the window and let opera 10 beta inside
1. Opera has a built in outlook thingy
2.Opera has a built in page accelarator (opera 10 beta ONLY)
3.Built in IM client
4.this cool new way to remember passwords (password wand)
5.Just to add Windows 7 has to be the best yer
6.Dell XPS desktop tower computers are the coolerestest computer
7.SNIFF SHARPIES , SPREAD THE LOVE
8.plz email me if any one will give me some cardboard tubes so i canz make a septic tank system
9.first post of mine in a while
PEACE
ooooh and GET OPERA 10 beta or YOU ARE A LOSER
K sorry firefox but i just threw u out the window and let opera 10 beta inside
1. Opera has a built in outlook thingy
2.Opera has a built in page accelarator (opera 10 beta ONLY)
3.Built in IM client
4.this cool new way to remember passwords (password wand)
5.Just to add Windows 7 has to be the best yer
6.Dell XPS desktop tower computers are the coolerestest computer
7.SNIFF SHARPIES , SPREAD THE LOVE
8.plz email me if any one will give me some cardboard tubes so i canz make a septic tank system
9.first post of mine in a while
PEACE
ooooh and GET OPERA 10 beta or YOU ARE A LOSER
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
OK everyone
You gotta go to Gaia Online (gaiaonline.com) it Rawkzorz!
The Manga has everything; Action, Romance, A guy ripping off his shirt and yelling "My Cat is Dying". EVERYTHING!!!!1!11!1
The Manga has everything; Action, Romance, A guy ripping off his shirt and yelling "My Cat is Dying". EVERYTHING!!!!1!11!1
Monday, June 15, 2009
Spelling bee
A test of wit and wordlery, the ancient art of kings and queens, to make it on the spelling bee scene you've got to be the cream!
I command the Herky jerky guy to lead the Zombie Nerds
Quote: "Maybe he's the leader of the Zombie nerds, they follow him and his guitar"
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Warning: NJ and other people who have worked hard for their guitar strings should not watch this video, as they may have a heart attack. And a Stroke. And an aneurysm. All at the same time.
I wish I had a bank account... and money
Ebay is awesome. I so want to buy these Multicolored ninja duckies.
Speaking of ninjas, I just read Naruto volume numero one-o.
Me no hablo espanol.
Speaking of ninjas, I just read Naruto volume numero one-o.
Me no hablo espanol.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Tales of Amadeus Part V
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
We got to DC, booked a Hotel Room under The Name Nick Jonas.
We made the plan. The file we needed to take down Jyarnikov was in a safe in the Oval office behind a picture of Barrack Obama. We snuck out wearing Secret service uniforms. Everyone was out at some big press conference thing, so getting in wasn't hard. F hacked into the Mainframe. He has a tracking device on Obama.
Ducky made sure no one interfered. She was security. I went in for the file. I got into the oval office, and saw the wall. There were over 20 pictures on the wall. I called up F.
"Where was the safe?"
"Under the picture of Obama"
"Which one?"
"What do you mean which one, there is only one"
"There's like 20"
"Crap. Just look under all of them"
"Ok"
I Finally found it. I started to work the combination. They had changed it. F called me up.
"He's Coming in"
"Who"
"Obama"
"Crap"
I put a block of C-4 on it, hid behind the Resolute Desk, and detonated it. I grabbed the file and ran. I left, and A secret service agent grabbed me.
"What are you doing here?!?"
"I, um, I- I... DUCKY!"
Ducky snapped his neck. We were surrounded by 15 agents. We both pulled out 2 9-millimeters, and slaughter them.
We got Back to the Hotel room. F was furious.
"YOU RETARDS! Now They know what we want! This was supposed to be a discreet grab & go, but NOOO! you two had to blow up half the oval office and killed 16 secret service agents! If you're gonna play the game you got to learn how to play it RIGHT!"
"that's from 'the Gambler' ", I said
"I KNOW IT'S FROM "THE GAMBLER"! I', TRYING TO MAKE A POINT! NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME MAKE MY POINT, OK?!?!"
"ok"
"GOOD. I've made my point."
He grabbed the File. "At least we've got this". He left. After a few minutes he came back and slammed it on the table. "It's crap."
Part II
Part III
Part IV
We got to DC, booked a Hotel Room under The Name Nick Jonas.
We made the plan. The file we needed to take down Jyarnikov was in a safe in the Oval office behind a picture of Barrack Obama. We snuck out wearing Secret service uniforms. Everyone was out at some big press conference thing, so getting in wasn't hard. F hacked into the Mainframe. He has a tracking device on Obama.
Ducky made sure no one interfered. She was security. I went in for the file. I got into the oval office, and saw the wall. There were over 20 pictures on the wall. I called up F.
"Where was the safe?"
"Under the picture of Obama"
"Which one?"
"What do you mean which one, there is only one"
"There's like 20"
"Crap. Just look under all of them"
"Ok"
I Finally found it. I started to work the combination. They had changed it. F called me up.
"He's Coming in"
"Who"
"Obama"
"Crap"
I put a block of C-4 on it, hid behind the Resolute Desk, and detonated it. I grabbed the file and ran. I left, and A secret service agent grabbed me.
"What are you doing here?!?"
"I, um, I- I... DUCKY!"
Ducky snapped his neck. We were surrounded by 15 agents. We both pulled out 2 9-millimeters, and slaughter them.
We got Back to the Hotel room. F was furious.
"YOU RETARDS! Now They know what we want! This was supposed to be a discreet grab & go, but NOOO! you two had to blow up half the oval office and killed 16 secret service agents! If you're gonna play the game you got to learn how to play it RIGHT!"
"that's from 'the Gambler' ", I said
"I KNOW IT'S FROM "THE GAMBLER"! I', TRYING TO MAKE A POINT! NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME MAKE MY POINT, OK?!?!"
"ok"
"GOOD. I've made my point."
He grabbed the File. "At least we've got this". He left. After a few minutes he came back and slammed it on the table. "It's crap."
So Cute
I Love it how the baby looks so serious, like this is a very inportant thing she needs to inform him about.
Gitmo
Some Gitmo detainees are moving to Bermuda.
The UK ain't happy about that and rightfully so. Bermuda is theirs and we put terrorists all over it.
Plus, Bermuda used to rake in money for Britain, but not anymore! I mean, would YOU star at an island that was all terroristy? Does Terrorist Island sound like A good place to stay? No.
The UK ain't happy about that and rightfully so. Bermuda is theirs and we put terrorists all over it.
Plus, Bermuda used to rake in money for Britain, but not anymore! I mean, would YOU star at an island that was all terroristy? Does Terrorist Island sound like A good place to stay? No.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
My Generation
Okay, my Generation, listen up:
Make better music.
You see, The bands of the past are kicking our collective butt. Listen to these songs:
Sweet Child O' Mine
Don't Stop Believing
The Final Countdown
Stairway To Heaven
I Don't Want to miss a thing
Now Listen to these:
Best of Both Worlds
Ice Cream Freeze
Let's Get Crazy
Witch One's better? We all know the answer.
Make better music.
You see, The bands of the past are kicking our collective butt. Listen to these songs:
Sweet Child O' Mine
Don't Stop Believing
The Final Countdown
Stairway To Heaven
I Don't Want to miss a thing
Now Listen to these:
Best of Both Worlds
Ice Cream Freeze
Let's Get Crazy
Witch One's better? We all know the answer.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
The Reason
Some of you might be wondering why no one post on this blog. "Clearly," you must be thinking, "These are not people who could ever possibly Have Jobs." True, we do not. "And even if they are in school, it is summer, and they are out" Also True. And you come to the conclusion that we have free time. True.
But we are the kind of people who would, rather than blogging, spend three hours looking up A video I once saw of a Korean Baby singing "Hey, Jude".
But we are the kind of people who would, rather than blogging, spend three hours looking up A video I once saw of a Korean Baby singing "Hey, Jude".
FRED!!!1!!!1!!!11!!!!1
Fred is frikken awesome!!1! Ducky Told me months ago that I should watch Fred and I was like sure! So I got home and I was like "I was supposed to do something, what was it? I think it involved SPLINTER CELL! YAY SPLINTER CELL!! But now I can't play SPLINTER CELL because my little bro-mide kept taking it out and putting it wherever and it doesn't work.
But I remember Fred and went to YouTube, and after watching a funny Numa Numa video, looked at FRED!
Yay FRED!!!1!!1!1!
But I remember Fred and went to YouTube, and after watching a funny Numa Numa video, looked at FRED!
Yay FRED!!!1!!1!1!
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Paintball
I declare that paintball is officially one of the best things on earth. Period.
The guy who invented paintball should get a Nobel peace prize. The whole Israeli/Palestinian thing could be solved by who wins a game of paintball. (Hint: expect intervention from the man up there).
I was play, and I hit my Pastor, yes, My PASTOR, with a paintball from 4 feet away and he got this big bruise.
The guy who invented paintball should get a Nobel peace prize. The whole Israeli/Palestinian thing could be solved by who wins a game of paintball. (Hint: expect intervention from the man up there).
I was play, and I hit my Pastor, yes, My PASTOR, with a paintball from 4 feet away and he got this big bruise.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
A "great" Idea
Feed the Children has a problem. There is food in Taiwan, there is no food in Kenya. They need money to bring the food to Kenya.
But wait...
Can't they just take the Kenyans to Taiwan? I mean, food goes away, so when they've eaten it all, we need to send more food, not if we move the Kenyans, they'll be where the food is, right?
Now, I know that there is some reason this won't work, but don't tell me. I don't care about it.
But wait...
Can't they just take the Kenyans to Taiwan? I mean, food goes away, so when they've eaten it all, we need to send more food, not if we move the Kenyans, they'll be where the food is, right?
Now, I know that there is some reason this won't work, but don't tell me. I don't care about it.
Friday, May 29, 2009
I Don't care what Paul F. Thompson says.
I have had the Best week Ever.
This is my normal week:
Monday: School
Tuesday: School
Wednesday: School
Thursday: School
Friday: School
This week:
Monday: No School
Tuesday: Ice cream and movie at school
Wednesday: Talent show/half day/met Mrs. Indiana
Thursday: No school/my B-day
Friday: King's Island trip.
This is my normal week:
Monday: School
Tuesday: School
Wednesday: School
Thursday: School
Friday: School
This week:
Monday: No School
Tuesday: Ice cream and movie at school
Wednesday: Talent show/half day/met Mrs. Indiana
Thursday: No school/my B-day
Friday: King's Island trip.
Strange songs
I just realized, my favorite songs have really odd lyrics.
Like Come Together, where the lyrics in entirety are:
Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller He got hair down to his knee Got to be a joker he just do what he please He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola He say "I know you, you know me"One thing I can tell you is you got to be free. Come together right now over me He bag production he got walrus gumboot He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease Come together right now over me He roller-coaster he got early warning He got muddy water he one mojo filter He say "One and one and one is three" Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see. Come together right now over me
Or Niel Diamond's I am... I said
"I am"... I said To no one there, And no one heard at all, Not even the chair
David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust:
But Where were the Spiders? When the Fly tried to break our balls. Just the beer light to guide us.
( It thought it was "But where were the spiders, when the fuzz tried to break our bowls, just a beer like Jew geyser")
Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie
Cracklin' Rose, you're a store-bought woman but you make me sing like a guitar hummin'
Deep Purple's Highway Star:
Oooh she's a killing machine She's got everything Like a moving mouth body control And everything
Like Come Together, where the lyrics in entirety are:
Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller He got hair down to his knee Got to be a joker he just do what he please He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola He say "I know you, you know me"One thing I can tell you is you got to be free. Come together right now over me He bag production he got walrus gumboot He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease Come together right now over me He roller-coaster he got early warning He got muddy water he one mojo filter He say "One and one and one is three" Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see. Come together right now over me
Or Niel Diamond's I am... I said
"I am"... I said To no one there, And no one heard at all, Not even the chair
David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust:
But Where were the Spiders? When the Fly tried to break our balls. Just the beer light to guide us.
( It thought it was "But where were the spiders, when the fuzz tried to break our bowls, just a beer like Jew geyser")
Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie
Cracklin' Rose, you're a store-bought woman but you make me sing like a guitar hummin'
Deep Purple's Highway Star:
Oooh she's a killing machine She's got everything Like a moving mouth body control And everything
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Strange thoughts
I've been thinking for a while, and I thought I'd share some thoughts with you.
-http://store.guitarfetish.com/modboards.html has these circuit boards that you can attatch to your guitar's wiring to add a onboard effect (distortion, delay, what have you). My thought is, why not a whammy knob? It could go from 0 to 12 (frets), and the push-pull knob could be pushed down for frets up (for an increase in pitch) or pulled up for the opposite (divebomb without the intonation messing up)
-
This is Michael Angelo Batio, one of the best shredders in the world, and a columnist in Guitar World magazine. He should have a clock. It would be a life-size version of him, with a 12- neck guitar, with the tuners on the headstocks showing the 1-12 of a traditional clock. His hands would be the clock hands, and every hour, a special hourly lick would play.
-
Do not watch the video above if you vakue the solidity of your face.
-http://store.guitarfetish.com/modboards.html has these circuit boards that you can attatch to your guitar's wiring to add a onboard effect (distortion, delay, what have you). My thought is, why not a whammy knob? It could go from 0 to 12 (frets), and the push-pull knob could be pushed down for frets up (for an increase in pitch) or pulled up for the opposite (divebomb without the intonation messing up)
-
This is Michael Angelo Batio, one of the best shredders in the world, and a columnist in Guitar World magazine. He should have a clock. It would be a life-size version of him, with a 12- neck guitar, with the tuners on the headstocks showing the 1-12 of a traditional clock. His hands would be the clock hands, and every hour, a special hourly lick would play.
-
Do not watch the video above if you vakue the solidity of your face.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
This isn't gonna sound right but...
If someone is convicted of cannibalism, and is put on death row, what does he say when you ask him what he wants for a last meal?
"You know that guy I killed? Do you have anymore of him? I'm in the Mood For a Sandwich".
"I would like some Meat Loaf. Not the Food, the Person. That guy on the Motorcycle in Rocky Horror."
"You know that guy I killed? Do you have anymore of him? I'm in the Mood For a Sandwich".
"I would like some Meat Loaf. Not the Food, the Person. That guy on the Motorcycle in Rocky Horror."
Monday, May 11, 2009
24
Let's Rock this Town.
Ok, so as of now, Jack is dying and the bad guys are winning, but Don't stop believing, we've still got about 4 or 5 hours left, and that's just enough time. Ok, bros, the Canister has been fitted specially to kill more people that usual. 73h middle eastern d00d is being bargained to by Tony Alameda. Tony and the readhead are setting up the Canister. Jack found 73h middle eastern d00d's bro. Jack's using only slightly advanced interrogation on some dude. OK, NOW Jack's torturing. The FBI chick is telling Chloe to do some stuff. FBI nerd is complaining. I hate FBI nerd. The dude just told of Tony's numbah. Tony is telling 73h middle eastern d00d to never try to call the police again. Tony said his group is always watching. More boring Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter subplot. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter hasn't paid, but the killer still killed Puppetmaster old dude. The CAnister is set for 15 minutes, so it should go off in this episode. Toyn is picking up the Redhead. Jack is on Tony's tail. Tony got knocked out of the car. Jack got
Tony. Tony had a computer.
Chloe can't get the info off tony Comp. FBI nerd know more about codes that Chloe does. This can'yt be possible. Jack just told the cops to just walk away. And they just walked away. Jack can't kill Tony. Not after all the good times. (musical montage here) They found 73h middle eastern d00d on the subway (eat fresh)(can I have my ad money now?) Jack is talking to 73h middle eastern d00d. Jack's telling him what to do. 73h middle eastern d00d doesn't want to do this. The timer say 1 minute 20. 73h middle eastern d00d is using the bomb to get people out of his way. THe canister went boom with jack in the room. No one else got zee bioweapon. What? This seems like it's already over, but there's about 3 1/2 hours left.
Jack's Daughter is suspicious of some dude. The dude is under control of jack. Jack needs a full interrogation pack. (Gun, anything) Jack learned that Puppetmaster old dude has gone boom. The Bad dudes got a whole new thang. This is a bad thing. The dude under Jack's orders has been killed by a dude that was nice to Chloe. Boring Pres. Woman Pres.'s Daughter subplot. Some White houre dude is making a call to some old white house dude. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter paid the killer dude. 73h middle eastern d00d is having a joyus moment. The Redhead is talking to Jack. They're threataning to kill Jack's daughter. (Not technically kidnapped yet)
The End. Next week is 2 hours, and it's the season finale.
Ok, so as of now, Jack is dying and the bad guys are winning, but Don't stop believing, we've still got about 4 or 5 hours left, and that's just enough time. Ok, bros, the Canister has been fitted specially to kill more people that usual. 73h middle eastern d00d is being bargained to by Tony Alameda. Tony and the readhead are setting up the Canister. Jack found 73h middle eastern d00d's bro. Jack's using only slightly advanced interrogation on some dude. OK, NOW Jack's torturing. The FBI chick is telling Chloe to do some stuff. FBI nerd is complaining. I hate FBI nerd. The dude just told of Tony's numbah. Tony is telling 73h middle eastern d00d to never try to call the police again. Tony said his group is always watching. More boring Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter subplot. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter hasn't paid, but the killer still killed Puppetmaster old dude. The CAnister is set for 15 minutes, so it should go off in this episode. Toyn is picking up the Redhead. Jack is on Tony's tail. Tony got knocked out of the car. Jack got
Tony. Tony had a computer.
Chloe can't get the info off tony Comp. FBI nerd know more about codes that Chloe does. This can'yt be possible. Jack just told the cops to just walk away. And they just walked away. Jack can't kill Tony. Not after all the good times. (musical montage here) They found 73h middle eastern d00d on the subway (eat fresh)(can I have my ad money now?) Jack is talking to 73h middle eastern d00d. Jack's telling him what to do. 73h middle eastern d00d doesn't want to do this. The timer say 1 minute 20. 73h middle eastern d00d is using the bomb to get people out of his way. THe canister went boom with jack in the room. No one else got zee bioweapon. What? This seems like it's already over, but there's about 3 1/2 hours left.
Jack's Daughter is suspicious of some dude. The dude is under control of jack. Jack needs a full interrogation pack. (Gun, anything) Jack learned that Puppetmaster old dude has gone boom. The Bad dudes got a whole new thang. This is a bad thing. The dude under Jack's orders has been killed by a dude that was nice to Chloe. Boring Pres. Woman Pres.'s Daughter subplot. Some White houre dude is making a call to some old white house dude. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter paid the killer dude. 73h middle eastern d00d is having a joyus moment. The Redhead is talking to Jack. They're threataning to kill Jack's daughter. (Not technically kidnapped yet)
The End. Next week is 2 hours, and it's the season finale.
Monday, May 04, 2009
24
Let's rock the Kazbah.
Tony just kidnapped 73h middle eastern d00d, and now he's making fake documents. Jack's doing some racial profiling, and FBI nerd is complaining, and everyone hates her. Jack is not feeling too good. Chloe didn't know that he got the Bioweapon. Chloe's angry now. Jack is making a speech. The police went to 73h middle eastern d00d, because there was yelling. He finished the video of badness. The FBI are finding 73h middle eastern d00d under some suspicion. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter is making a deal with a reporter d00d. She's saying stuff she aint supposed to be saying. Puppetmaster old dude is talking about all he's lost. They're going to some Muslim dude who lives at a mosque. The Muslim dude is angry, and Jack is yelling. Jack and Muslim dude are having a scream-fest. The Muslim dude was of no help, but the police told them where 73h middle eastern d00d lives, and now he's lying to him bro. Tony and The Redhead are getting ready to move on out. 73h middle eastern d00d is making a passionate lying lie lie to his bro-mide, who says it's a bad day to be a brother. Jack is talking to Chloe, and figuring out that 73h middle eastern d00ds is probably innocent. Jack gave up on forgiving himself a long time ago. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter is having a beautiful, yet boring, reunion with Pres. Woman Pres.'s husband. Puppetmaster old dude is being all sentimental. He just got asploded in a car bomb. Pres. Woman Pres. just found out about Puppetmaster old dude's death. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter thinks that she caused it, but she couldn't go through with the killing. The Muslim dude learned about jack and the Bioweapon. Tony needs to go.
see you next week.
Tony just kidnapped 73h middle eastern d00d, and now he's making fake documents. Jack's doing some racial profiling, and FBI nerd is complaining, and everyone hates her. Jack is not feeling too good. Chloe didn't know that he got the Bioweapon. Chloe's angry now. Jack is making a speech. The police went to 73h middle eastern d00d, because there was yelling. He finished the video of badness. The FBI are finding 73h middle eastern d00d under some suspicion. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter is making a deal with a reporter d00d. She's saying stuff she aint supposed to be saying. Puppetmaster old dude is talking about all he's lost. They're going to some Muslim dude who lives at a mosque. The Muslim dude is angry, and Jack is yelling. Jack and Muslim dude are having a scream-fest. The Muslim dude was of no help, but the police told them where 73h middle eastern d00d lives, and now he's lying to him bro. Tony and The Redhead are getting ready to move on out. 73h middle eastern d00d is making a passionate lying lie lie to his bro-mide, who says it's a bad day to be a brother. Jack is talking to Chloe, and figuring out that 73h middle eastern d00ds is probably innocent. Jack gave up on forgiving himself a long time ago. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter is having a beautiful, yet boring, reunion with Pres. Woman Pres.'s husband. Puppetmaster old dude is being all sentimental. He just got asploded in a car bomb. Pres. Woman Pres. just found out about Puppetmaster old dude's death. Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter thinks that she caused it, but she couldn't go through with the killing. The Muslim dude learned about jack and the Bioweapon. Tony needs to go.
see you next week.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009
The Tales of Amadeus Part IV
PART I
PART II
PART III
"And one more thing," she added as we went to meet up with F, "After we're done I'm probably kill you"
"Fine with me, I just want to see this thing brought down"
We walked into an applebee's, and sat down. F came up to Ducky, dressed like he was going to a rave.
"This seat taken, Beautiful?" He said. He was sticking to the plan. I wasn't.
"Hey," I yelled, "Lay off my chick!" I mouthed "play along"
"You Wanna Fight?!?"
"@&%$ Yeah, you &^%$" He punched me across the face, I kicked him in the Ribs. The Manager kicked us out.
As soon as we got out, F started screaming at me.
"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!?!"
"Too many people there. Wasn't safe."
"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT!"
"Nope, woulda blown cover."
"That kick to the ribs really hurt!"
"It had to look authentic." He kicked me in the ribs.
"Whatever," he said, "So you got ducky here. What the catch?"
"She'll kill me when we're done."
"I can live with that. What's the Plan?"
"Honesly, I have no clue."
"So we're Ad-libbing?"
"Yep."
So we drove to D.C.
PART II
PART III
"And one more thing," she added as we went to meet up with F, "After we're done I'm probably kill you"
"Fine with me, I just want to see this thing brought down"
We walked into an applebee's, and sat down. F came up to Ducky, dressed like he was going to a rave.
"This seat taken, Beautiful?" He said. He was sticking to the plan. I wasn't.
"Hey," I yelled, "Lay off my chick!" I mouthed "play along"
"You Wanna Fight?!?"
"@&%$ Yeah, you &^%$" He punched me across the face, I kicked him in the Ribs. The Manager kicked us out.
As soon as we got out, F started screaming at me.
"WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!?!"
"Too many people there. Wasn't safe."
"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT!"
"Nope, woulda blown cover."
"That kick to the ribs really hurt!"
"It had to look authentic." He kicked me in the ribs.
"Whatever," he said, "So you got ducky here. What the catch?"
"She'll kill me when we're done."
"I can live with that. What's the Plan?"
"Honesly, I have no clue."
"So we're Ad-libbing?"
"Yep."
So we drove to D.C.
X-men
X-Men Origins: Wolverine is coming out, and I've started to wonder; Am I the only Person on Earth who likes Cyclops better than wolverine? That dude was the coolest! He could shoot lasers from his eyes, but he couldn't control them, so he had to go around wearing Sunglasses. He was so awesome, when I was five I would walk around with sunglasses on, taking them off and going BZZZT. Sometimes I still do.
daily "fact"
Ninja tears cure Cancer, HIV, AIDS, and Swine flu. Sadly, Ninjas never cry, and if you try to tell them some sentimental stuff, then before long, there'll be a Katana through your chest. The scariest part is that you won't remember how it got there.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The first 100 days
Last Wednesday was Obama's 100th day in office. Now, you may be wondering "Why do we grade the President on his first 100 days?", well, I could give you some big long story talking about how far back this tradition goes, or I could tell you the truth.
The truth is, we do it because 100 is a big round number, and we are simple people.
The truth is, we do it because 100 is a big round number, and we are simple people.
24
Let's do it.
Jack told the FBI chick about Tony. Jack is feeling better now. He has a new med-pack now. Jack blames himself. Tony is getting the Canister from the bad guy. Tony paid a bunch o' cash for it. The bad guy's pointing his gun at Tony, who's kicking the bad dude's butt. Puppetmaster Old dude is alive, and they think that the doppelganger gave Puppetmaster old dude the cyanide pill. Bauer is talking to Pres. Woman Pres. and informing her about stuff. Oh, the "interrogation" is just interrogation. Tony is talking to some redhead chick about the Canister and stuff of that sort. Pres. Woman Pres. is talking to her daughter. Puppetmaster old dude is getting a witness protection deal. The Redhead is having an evil meeting with evil people. Redhead is chatting with some dude from the administration. They're voting on weather or not to do some plot thing. The redhead is making out with tony.
FBI chick, jack and FBI nerd are talking about Puppetmaster old dude. Jack is threatening him about his family and if people know that he's dead. He's telling stuff about The bad dude team. Puppetmaster old dude is saying that Jack should be a hero. Puppetmaster old dude is filibustering. Jack is yelling at Puppetmaster old dude, but he doesn't no the name. The redhead is the same person as the doppelganger. Jack is telling Pres. Woman Pres. That they need the CTU stuff. Is Chloe gonna come back? (In case you didn't know, I think Chloe is awesome) Jack's calling Chloe. He's telling her about Bill, and that she needs to be here. This is gonna frickin' rock.
Chloe's having an emotional moment with Her husband, Morris. The FBI are meeting, and Jack is talking to them about stuff. Tony and the Doppelganger are the two main suspects. They know the plans. FBI chick is yelling at FBI nerd. Chloe is talking to Jack about stuff, and that Tony's been doing this. Chloe is shocked. Chloe still looks depressed. Tony and the redhead are going to blame the attacks on an illegal immigrant. Pres. Woman Pres.'s stupid daughter is telling that Puppetmaster old dude is not dead. Retard. Now that retard is telling a reporter. Chloe is dissing FBI nerd. I hate FBI nerd. The CTU logo is awesome. Jack is yelling at FBI nerd about what President Allstate guy authorized, But they think he might have meant Pres. Woman Pres.
Tony caught the immigrant. The end.
Jack told the FBI chick about Tony. Jack is feeling better now. He has a new med-pack now. Jack blames himself. Tony is getting the Canister from the bad guy. Tony paid a bunch o' cash for it. The bad guy's pointing his gun at Tony, who's kicking the bad dude's butt. Puppetmaster Old dude is alive, and they think that the doppelganger gave Puppetmaster old dude the cyanide pill. Bauer is talking to Pres. Woman Pres. and informing her about stuff. Oh, the "interrogation" is just interrogation. Tony is talking to some redhead chick about the Canister and stuff of that sort. Pres. Woman Pres. is talking to her daughter. Puppetmaster old dude is getting a witness protection deal. The Redhead is having an evil meeting with evil people. Redhead is chatting with some dude from the administration. They're voting on weather or not to do some plot thing. The redhead is making out with tony.
FBI chick, jack and FBI nerd are talking about Puppetmaster old dude. Jack is threatening him about his family and if people know that he's dead. He's telling stuff about The bad dude team. Puppetmaster old dude is saying that Jack should be a hero. Puppetmaster old dude is filibustering. Jack is yelling at Puppetmaster old dude, but he doesn't no the name. The redhead is the same person as the doppelganger. Jack is telling Pres. Woman Pres. That they need the CTU stuff. Is Chloe gonna come back? (In case you didn't know, I think Chloe is awesome) Jack's calling Chloe. He's telling her about Bill, and that she needs to be here. This is gonna frickin' rock.
Chloe's having an emotional moment with Her husband, Morris. The FBI are meeting, and Jack is talking to them about stuff. Tony and the Doppelganger are the two main suspects. They know the plans. FBI chick is yelling at FBI nerd. Chloe is talking to Jack about stuff, and that Tony's been doing this. Chloe is shocked. Chloe still looks depressed. Tony and the redhead are going to blame the attacks on an illegal immigrant. Pres. Woman Pres.'s stupid daughter is telling that Puppetmaster old dude is not dead. Retard. Now that retard is telling a reporter. Chloe is dissing FBI nerd. I hate FBI nerd. The CTU logo is awesome. Jack is yelling at FBI nerd about what President Allstate guy authorized, But they think he might have meant Pres. Woman Pres.
Tony caught the immigrant. The end.
24 on Hulu
LET'S DO THIS!
I swear, If this is the last season of 24, someone's gonna die. We just found out that Tony Alameda, who we once thought was the good guy, is now the bad guy. The Writers got some 'splainin to do...
Some guy just knock-out gassed some chick. They just set something up. FBI chick is talking to FBI nerd. Tony just took Larry's gun, and shot himself. He's talking on the cell phone to the dude who has the Canister. The cops found Alameda and dead Larry Moss. Jack's Daughter is talking to FBI chick. FBI learned Larry Moss is now dead. FBI chick is giving orders. Jack is not too good. Jack is repeating himself. FBI chick is arguing with Jack. They're looking for the bad dude, they say tony should sleep, but Tony never sleeps. Tony wants the bad dude to kill some FBI people. Jack's going with FBI chick. The knocked-out chick's doppelganger is heading somewhere. Pres. Woman Pres. is going to "interrogate" Puppetmaster old dude. Puppetmaster old dude is talking to Knocked-out chick's doppelganger, who is now the Doppelganger. Puppetmaster old dude knows too much. The Doppelganger is giving puppetmaster old dude a cyanide capsule. Pres. Woman Pres. is taking puppetmaster old dude away for "interrogation". The bad dude found a place to make go boom. I infer that Tony works for The Doppelganger. Jack is talking to the FBI chick. Tony saw Jack and FBI chick get of the Helicopter. FBI chick, Jack, and Tony are looking at Larry Moss's dead body. Jack is suspicious of Tony's story.
Jack's daughter is talking to her husband, and telling him about Jack dying. Awww, she has a baaaby! Named Teeeery! I know a dude named Terry, he's not that cute though. Jack's injecting himself with Medicine. They found the Bad dude. OH, it's just the bad dude luring them in. The Doppelganger is putting Puppetmaster old dude in the back of a truck. ;Puppetmaster old dude is talking the Cyanide tablet, and dying. They're going in. Jack's telling some computer dude to do some computer stuff. On computers. Jack found out it was a trap. THE FBI people went boom. FBI chick may be dead. Tony is talking to the bad dude. FBI chick is ALIVE!!! Tony's suspicious of Alameda. A dude whp was supposed to be dead is not dead. JAck is yelling at Tony. Jack is having a seizure. Tony took away Jack's meds. The bad dude is escaping.
THE END
I swear, If this is the last season of 24, someone's gonna die. We just found out that Tony Alameda, who we once thought was the good guy, is now the bad guy. The Writers got some 'splainin to do...
Some guy just knock-out gassed some chick. They just set something up. FBI chick is talking to FBI nerd. Tony just took Larry's gun, and shot himself. He's talking on the cell phone to the dude who has the Canister. The cops found Alameda and dead Larry Moss. Jack's Daughter is talking to FBI chick. FBI learned Larry Moss is now dead. FBI chick is giving orders. Jack is not too good. Jack is repeating himself. FBI chick is arguing with Jack. They're looking for the bad dude, they say tony should sleep, but Tony never sleeps. Tony wants the bad dude to kill some FBI people. Jack's going with FBI chick. The knocked-out chick's doppelganger is heading somewhere. Pres. Woman Pres. is going to "interrogate" Puppetmaster old dude. Puppetmaster old dude is talking to Knocked-out chick's doppelganger, who is now the Doppelganger. Puppetmaster old dude knows too much. The Doppelganger is giving puppetmaster old dude a cyanide capsule. Pres. Woman Pres. is taking puppetmaster old dude away for "interrogation". The bad dude found a place to make go boom. I infer that Tony works for The Doppelganger. Jack is talking to the FBI chick. Tony saw Jack and FBI chick get of the Helicopter. FBI chick, Jack, and Tony are looking at Larry Moss's dead body. Jack is suspicious of Tony's story.
Jack's daughter is talking to her husband, and telling him about Jack dying. Awww, she has a baaaby! Named Teeeery! I know a dude named Terry, he's not that cute though. Jack's injecting himself with Medicine. They found the Bad dude. OH, it's just the bad dude luring them in. The Doppelganger is putting Puppetmaster old dude in the back of a truck. ;Puppetmaster old dude is talking the Cyanide tablet, and dying. They're going in. Jack's telling some computer dude to do some computer stuff. On computers. Jack found out it was a trap. THE FBI people went boom. FBI chick may be dead. Tony is talking to the bad dude. FBI chick is ALIVE!!! Tony's suspicious of Alameda. A dude whp was supposed to be dead is not dead. JAck is yelling at Tony. Jack is having a seizure. Tony took away Jack's meds. The bad dude is escaping.
THE END
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
24
I'll be watching this week's 24 later on Hulu, I missed it because I was watching last week's 24 on Hulu.
24 on hulu
24 time!
When we last left Jack & the gang, Puppetmaster old dude showed his guns. Jack and Alameda agree that President Woman President is making a dumb choice. Alamdea knows where the Bio weapon is, and he's gonna blow up the fuel with the C-4. I like C-4. Jack knows Pres. Woman Pres. is lying to FBI, and telling her what Alameda found out. Pres. Woman Pres. is telling what is going on. Jack is telling her that she's naive (tell us something we didn't know). Jack's telling her that he's all bioweapon-ey. They're hatching a plot to get the bioweapon back and not take the blame if it all goes wrong. Larry Moss isn't against this plan. I still don't like Larry Moss. Jack and FBI chick are fast-walking somewhere, adn Jack is talking to Alameda. The bad dudes are loading up the fuel. And one of the dudes is making sure that they are all fine. Alameda is kick Ash and giving orders. Alameda has his gun trained on the bad dudes.
Now he's setting up the C-4 on the Bioweapon. Puppetmaster Old Dude is having a little talk with Pres. Woman Pres. Puppetmaster is talking about National Defense. Alameda is setting more C-4, have I mentioned that I like C-4? Tony got attacked and dropped the C-4 splodey-stick. They're launching. Bossy bald guy is entering the codes himself. Alameda got the stick and hit the button, all the stuff went boom. Jack thinks that Alameda's dead. The official inform-ey dude just informed them of the stuff. Puppetmaster just said he isn't really the puppetmaster, and he's just a cog in the machine. Why do people on 24 whisper so much? Pres. Woman Pres. Is calling Bauer. Jack ain't feeling too good. Jack going to the Doc. Larry is talking to FBI chick about getting all the Bad dudes. Alameda's fine. Jack's daughter is here to give Jack a stem Cell transplantation thing. Tony's ready to be put in jail. There is unfortunately, no medicine for Jack's condition. (Not even a little more cowbell) Jack's angry that FBI chick is trying to save his life. Jack's daughter has been trying to find jack all day, (and in 24, that's a long time) There is a beautiful, awkward, father-daughter reunion. Jack's daughter misses her daddy. Jack's daughter is apologizing for blaming him for everything. Jack's having bad stuffs again. I swear, if this is the last season, I'm gonna kill someone. Not anyone particular, just someone. Someone I don't know just killed someone else I don't know. He has a bag. There is a canister of the Bioweapon is it. Bad dude just killed the cop. Now there's a bad dude on the loose. THis is not a good thing. They found Mr. Bad dude. They have a visual on the subject, and he's on foot now. Mr. Bad dude shot the pilot. WHOA! TONY JUST KILLED LARRY MOSS! WTF!?!? So, is Alameda the bad guy now?
When we last left Jack & the gang, Puppetmaster old dude showed his guns. Jack and Alameda agree that President Woman President is making a dumb choice. Alamdea knows where the Bio weapon is, and he's gonna blow up the fuel with the C-4. I like C-4. Jack knows Pres. Woman Pres. is lying to FBI, and telling her what Alameda found out. Pres. Woman Pres. is telling what is going on. Jack is telling her that she's naive (tell us something we didn't know). Jack's telling her that he's all bioweapon-ey. They're hatching a plot to get the bioweapon back and not take the blame if it all goes wrong. Larry Moss isn't against this plan. I still don't like Larry Moss. Jack and FBI chick are fast-walking somewhere, adn Jack is talking to Alameda. The bad dudes are loading up the fuel. And one of the dudes is making sure that they are all fine. Alameda is kick Ash and giving orders. Alameda has his gun trained on the bad dudes.
Now he's setting up the C-4 on the Bioweapon. Puppetmaster Old Dude is having a little talk with Pres. Woman Pres. Puppetmaster is talking about National Defense. Alameda is setting more C-4, have I mentioned that I like C-4? Tony got attacked and dropped the C-4 splodey-stick. They're launching. Bossy bald guy is entering the codes himself. Alameda got the stick and hit the button, all the stuff went boom. Jack thinks that Alameda's dead. The official inform-ey dude just informed them of the stuff. Puppetmaster just said he isn't really the puppetmaster, and he's just a cog in the machine. Why do people on 24 whisper so much? Pres. Woman Pres. Is calling Bauer. Jack ain't feeling too good. Jack going to the Doc. Larry is talking to FBI chick about getting all the Bad dudes. Alameda's fine. Jack's daughter is here to give Jack a stem Cell transplantation thing. Tony's ready to be put in jail. There is unfortunately, no medicine for Jack's condition. (Not even a little more cowbell) Jack's angry that FBI chick is trying to save his life. Jack's daughter has been trying to find jack all day, (and in 24, that's a long time) There is a beautiful, awkward, father-daughter reunion. Jack's daughter misses her daddy. Jack's daughter is apologizing for blaming him for everything. Jack's having bad stuffs again. I swear, if this is the last season, I'm gonna kill someone. Not anyone particular, just someone. Someone I don't know just killed someone else I don't know. He has a bag. There is a canister of the Bioweapon is it. Bad dude just killed the cop. Now there's a bad dude on the loose. THis is not a good thing. They found Mr. Bad dude. They have a visual on the subject, and he's on foot now. Mr. Bad dude shot the pilot. WHOA! TONY JUST KILLED LARRY MOSS! WTF!?!? So, is Alameda the bad guy now?
daily "fact"
Bill Nye is a ninja, and if you say he sucks, don't be surprised when you're impaled in the middle of the night by a Katana of Science.
ADD moment
Instead of having tanks, couldn't we just strap rocket launchers to the pope mobile? It would be like a tank but faster, and isn't the pope mobile indestructible? Isn't that pretty much what they made it for?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The Tales of Amadeus Part III
PART I
PART II
Every body has a Price, and I knew hers. I knocked on her door. I heard her say "Come in with you hands up, and don't try anything funny". The door opened, and I found a double-barreled shotgun pointing directly at my face.
"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" I asked. "By no stretch of the imagination are we friends," She replied, "And didn't I tell you I would kill you if I ever saw you again?". "I thought you were kidding about that".
"What do you want?" she said. I explained that all I needed was to take down almost everyone involved in the most powerful, influential country on the planet.
"Oh," she responded, "that's all".
"Will you do it?"
"Absolutely not, now get out before I blow your head off"
"Oh well," I said, "I guess now you'll never get this"
"Never get what?"
That's when I laid on the table the first-edition Japanese copies of every Death note volume.
"Ok," she said, "I'm in"
PART II
Every body has a Price, and I knew hers. I knocked on her door. I heard her say "Come in with you hands up, and don't try anything funny". The door opened, and I found a double-barreled shotgun pointing directly at my face.
"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" I asked. "By no stretch of the imagination are we friends," She replied, "And didn't I tell you I would kill you if I ever saw you again?". "I thought you were kidding about that".
"What do you want?" she said. I explained that all I needed was to take down almost everyone involved in the most powerful, influential country on the planet.
"Oh," she responded, "that's all".
"Will you do it?"
"Absolutely not, now get out before I blow your head off"
"Oh well," I said, "I guess now you'll never get this"
"Never get what?"
That's when I laid on the table the first-edition Japanese copies of every Death note volume.
"Ok," she said, "I'm in"
ADD moment
In my browser, I have a think that tells me what the weather and temperature is. I've always thought that this was a neat and helpful thing, until I noticed that my desk sits Directly next to a 68x61 in. sliding glass door, meaning that I can see it by turning my head and can almost touch it when I stick out my hand. I can't believe that I hadn't noticed that yet.
Books on tape
I am a huge fan of books on tape for one reason: I am a very competitive person. It's like I'm racing with the reader to see who can read fastest. It's a fact that you can read faster than you can talk, so I often win, and I feel Awesome.
ADD moment
The number 9 must really hate the number 10. I mean think about it, if you get a 3 out of ten, you think, "well, there were too many problems to try to correct", but if you get a 9 out of 10, you're kicking yourself thinking "if I only hadn't made that last mistake, I would have a 10 of 10". Another reason: OCD people. They get all freaked out when there's 9 of anything. The last reason: 9/11. All the sadness in on 9 and 11, who get's off Scot free? 10.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
desert island
I've been reading this book of essay called "ant farm", and there is this one called "desert island", this is how it goes:
I was chatting with a girl at a cocktail party last weekend, and she asked me "If you were stranded on a desert island and could only take three possessions with you, what would you pick?"
"that's pretty tough," I said. "I guess I would take my first-edition copy of Bob Dylan's Highway 61 revisited, James Meridith's Collected Poems, and my lucky sonic youth T-shirt."
Well, it turns out that the girl was a government research scientist. It's a long story, but basically when the drugs in my cocktail wore off, I woke up completely naked on a a sandy strip of land in the middle of the ocean. A few hours later a jet plane whizzed by and parachute-dropped the record, the book, and the shirt onto the shore.
I realize now that I definitely could hove chosen better items
The last three days have been hell. I have no food, shelter of medicine. The Sonic Youth T-shirt has an enormous tear through the front. It's pretty cool-looking, and it shows I've had the shirt for a long time, since before sonic youth got big. But the tear lets in a lot of cold air, and the larger insects keep getting trapped in it.
Every few hours i flip through the Merill anthology in the hopes that one of his poems is about fire building or water purification, of how to make medicine, but so far they're all useless.
I spent yesterday morning tying the Bob Dylan record to a stick with weeds and swinging it over my head to try to receive radio waves. I don't remember why I thought that would work.
If I had asked for a Bob Dylan CD, I could have at least used the reflective surface to maybe heat up some sand. I'm not sure what that would accomplish, but at least I'd feel like I was doing something. This morning I ate the poetry book and the shirt. Tonight, I'm going to try to eat the record.
Let me tell you some more about this island. During the daytime, the sand is so hot that I need to constantly hop on one foot to prevent my feet from getting burned. At night, it's below freezing. There are no trees. There's just sand, weeds and some kind of volcano. Every fish I've caught so far has been poisonous.
I just realized that, technically, my house counts as a possession. I could have asked for my entire house.
I don't even like Bob Dylan. I just wanted to sound cool.
I was chatting with a girl at a cocktail party last weekend, and she asked me "If you were stranded on a desert island and could only take three possessions with you, what would you pick?"
"that's pretty tough," I said. "I guess I would take my first-edition copy of Bob Dylan's Highway 61 revisited, James Meridith's Collected Poems, and my lucky sonic youth T-shirt."
Well, it turns out that the girl was a government research scientist. It's a long story, but basically when the drugs in my cocktail wore off, I woke up completely naked on a a sandy strip of land in the middle of the ocean. A few hours later a jet plane whizzed by and parachute-dropped the record, the book, and the shirt onto the shore.
I realize now that I definitely could hove chosen better items
The last three days have been hell. I have no food, shelter of medicine. The Sonic Youth T-shirt has an enormous tear through the front. It's pretty cool-looking, and it shows I've had the shirt for a long time, since before sonic youth got big. But the tear lets in a lot of cold air, and the larger insects keep getting trapped in it.
Every few hours i flip through the Merill anthology in the hopes that one of his poems is about fire building or water purification, of how to make medicine, but so far they're all useless.
I spent yesterday morning tying the Bob Dylan record to a stick with weeds and swinging it over my head to try to receive radio waves. I don't remember why I thought that would work.
If I had asked for a Bob Dylan CD, I could have at least used the reflective surface to maybe heat up some sand. I'm not sure what that would accomplish, but at least I'd feel like I was doing something. This morning I ate the poetry book and the shirt. Tonight, I'm going to try to eat the record.
Let me tell you some more about this island. During the daytime, the sand is so hot that I need to constantly hop on one foot to prevent my feet from getting burned. At night, it's below freezing. There are no trees. There's just sand, weeds and some kind of volcano. Every fish I've caught so far has been poisonous.
I just realized that, technically, my house counts as a possession. I could have asked for my entire house.
I don't even like Bob Dylan. I just wanted to sound cool.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Star Trek
There is a new Star Trek Movie coming out, and I am so excited about it, but this I swear: if this movie is an outer-space Harry Potter, I'm gonna kill myself. Others may die as well, I'm gonna play it by ear.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
daily "fact"
Ducky is Secretly an internet Vampire, so if she blogs in the day, she will die, and if she sleeps after sunset, so she can only blog during Solar eclipses.
Monday, April 06, 2009
24
OK, let's melt some faces.
Puppetmaster old guy was filibustering. I hate filibustering. Jack is calling people to find info. Bauer is giving Larry Moss and Alameda instructions. Alameda just escaped unnoticed. The insider is with Alameda, and Alameda's talking to Jack. The insider is telling Alameda where to go. Jack is talking to pres. Woman Pres. They won't let Alameda and the insider where they need to be, but Alameda got there anyway. Jack isn't feeling too good. Maybe it's the flu, or maybe he's ingested some BIO WEAPON! They got the insider, and now Puppetmaster Old guy is ]interrogating him. Jack is refusing a blood transfusion from his daughter (i thought she was dead) Tony is making his way through starkwood, breaking stuff as he goes along. FBI nerd and jack are talking to tony, and where he is isn't on the map. They found the Bio bomb. This is gonna rock. Jack told Tony to leave, so he's leaving. Puppetmaster old guy is interrogating the insider.
Puppetmaster old guy is monologueing about some BS, and is beating the snot out of the insider. Puppetmaster old guy has a call, and now he's calling Pres. Woman Pres. Pres. She's picking up. Puppetmaster old guy just revealed his master plan, and issued an ultimatum, I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds cool. And now it's over. Next week, BE THERE!
Puppetmaster old guy was filibustering. I hate filibustering. Jack is calling people to find info. Bauer is giving Larry Moss and Alameda instructions. Alameda just escaped unnoticed. The insider is with Alameda, and Alameda's talking to Jack. The insider is telling Alameda where to go. Jack is talking to pres. Woman Pres. They won't let Alameda and the insider where they need to be, but Alameda got there anyway. Jack isn't feeling too good. Maybe it's the flu, or maybe he's ingested some BIO WEAPON! They got the insider, and now Puppetmaster Old guy is ]interrogating him. Jack is refusing a blood transfusion from his daughter (i thought she was dead) Tony is making his way through starkwood, breaking stuff as he goes along. FBI nerd and jack are talking to tony, and where he is isn't on the map. They found the Bio bomb. This is gonna rock. Jack told Tony to leave, so he's leaving. Puppetmaster old guy is interrogating the insider.
Puppetmaster old guy is monologueing about some BS, and is beating the snot out of the insider. Puppetmaster old guy has a call, and now he's calling Pres. Woman Pres. Pres. She's picking up. Puppetmaster old guy just revealed his master plan, and issued an ultimatum, I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds cool. And now it's over. Next week, BE THERE!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Manga
I've been reading a lot of manga lately, and I get Kind of confused. Not the reading Right-to-left thing, I got that down. It's the things after the words. It's confusing. This is what is used:
(First Name)-Chan
(Last Name)-Chan
(First Name)-Kun
(Last Name)-Kun
(Last Name)-San
(Last Name)-Sama
(Last Name)-Sensei
(Last Name)-Senpa
(First Name)-Senpa
Hard to remember, right? Try Keeping up when you get things like Seipa-Senpa.
I've really been reading a lot of manga. Here's the full list of manga titles I am reading:
One Piece
Kindaichi Case Files
.Hack
Rave Master
Fullmetal Alchemist
Death Note
MAR
(First Name)-Chan
(Last Name)-Chan
(First Name)-Kun
(Last Name)-Kun
(Last Name)-San
(Last Name)-Sama
(Last Name)-Sensei
(Last Name)-Senpa
(First Name)-Senpa
Hard to remember, right? Try Keeping up when you get things like Seipa-Senpa.
I've really been reading a lot of manga. Here's the full list of manga titles I am reading:
One Piece
Kindaichi Case Files
.Hack
Rave Master
Fullmetal Alchemist
Death Note
MAR
Think about it
George Orwell Wrote "1984", about a future in which Cameras are everywhere, and you are always aware that "Big Brother is Watching you".
Another Fact: England is the Creepy camera Capital of the world, in England there is literally a camera on every street corner. There is almost nowhere in England you can go without being under surveillance.
Now think about this: George Orwell was British.
Now answer this: Did George Orwell REALLY see the Future when he wrote "1984", or does the British Government not have a clue?
Another Fact: England is the Creepy camera Capital of the world, in England there is literally a camera on every street corner. There is almost nowhere in England you can go without being under surveillance.
Now think about this: George Orwell was British.
Now answer this: Did George Orwell REALLY see the Future when he wrote "1984", or does the British Government not have a clue?
24
OK, So we're back to the shooty 'splodey show. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm too old for this Shi-
Stuff, stuff, I said Stuff. Everybody heard me say stuff.
Bauer's giving the people in Radiation suits his weapons and telling them info that then need for them to know If he's gonna die or not. They're giving him a radiation bath. It's kinda creepy. Larry Moss is talking to the FBI nerd about what's going on. Devil-beard Tony Alameda has been captured by Puppetmaster Old Guy and his Starkwood puppets. The Bio-Bomb truck is moving, and they are beating the shi-
Once again, I said stuff.
out of Tony. Puppetmaster Old Guy is hitting Tony on the cheek the way Old people do to 7-year-olds. Puppetmaster old guy says that this Bio Bomb is flipping golden, and he's not giving this up for nothing. The Boring President Woman President's Daughter subplot is going on, so I'll be playing Ninja Gaiden 2: Dark Sword of Chaos
Larry Moss is explaining to Pres. Woman Pres. What's going on. Larry Moss is talking to FBI chick, explaining that Jack is under Quarantine (great band name) because he was infected. More Boring Subplot, More Ninja Gaiden. Jack is in quarantine, apparently with 4 other people. That's not really how quarantine works. FBI chick is talking to Jack, who has weird discolored spots where is scars used to be. Tony and Starkwood guy are creeping around somewhere they aren't supposed to be. Starkwood Guy just tricked Puppetmaster old guy, telling him that Alameda is sill being interrogated.
FBI nerd is doing stuff for Larry Moss that I don't really care about. Larry Moss is talking to Alameda on the phone. Larry Moss is calling the president. We now know where the Bio-Bomb is, and Jack can't go because he's all radiation-ey. The FBI and Starkwood guy are trying to stop puppetmaster Old guy. Some dudes in lab coats that all look like Dr. Bunsen from the Muppets are preparing for the evil Bio-Bomb to go "boom".
They're going in with helicopters, they're going to lay Siege to the Starkwood building, and there will probably be lots of explosions and gunfights, but it's not exciting without Jack. The FBI made a door go "boom". Puppetmaster old guy just saw the FBI, and the Starkwood dude was giving them the wrong info. Some Bad guys from Starkwood are gonna kill the FBI guys if they keep searching. FSCK! It was just getting interesting, but Now it's over.
Be back next week.
Stuff, stuff, I said Stuff. Everybody heard me say stuff.
Bauer's giving the people in Radiation suits his weapons and telling them info that then need for them to know If he's gonna die or not. They're giving him a radiation bath. It's kinda creepy. Larry Moss is talking to the FBI nerd about what's going on. Devil-beard Tony Alameda has been captured by Puppetmaster Old Guy and his Starkwood puppets. The Bio-Bomb truck is moving, and they are beating the shi-
Once again, I said stuff.
out of Tony. Puppetmaster Old Guy is hitting Tony on the cheek the way Old people do to 7-year-olds. Puppetmaster old guy says that this Bio Bomb is flipping golden, and he's not giving this up for nothing. The Boring President Woman President's Daughter subplot is going on, so I'll be playing Ninja Gaiden 2: Dark Sword of Chaos
Larry Moss is explaining to Pres. Woman Pres. What's going on. Larry Moss is talking to FBI chick, explaining that Jack is under Quarantine (great band name) because he was infected. More Boring Subplot, More Ninja Gaiden. Jack is in quarantine, apparently with 4 other people. That's not really how quarantine works. FBI chick is talking to Jack, who has weird discolored spots where is scars used to be. Tony and Starkwood guy are creeping around somewhere they aren't supposed to be. Starkwood Guy just tricked Puppetmaster old guy, telling him that Alameda is sill being interrogated.
FBI nerd is doing stuff for Larry Moss that I don't really care about. Larry Moss is talking to Alameda on the phone. Larry Moss is calling the president. We now know where the Bio-Bomb is, and Jack can't go because he's all radiation-ey. The FBI and Starkwood guy are trying to stop puppetmaster Old guy. Some dudes in lab coats that all look like Dr. Bunsen from the Muppets are preparing for the evil Bio-Bomb to go "boom".
They're going in with helicopters, they're going to lay Siege to the Starkwood building, and there will probably be lots of explosions and gunfights, but it's not exciting without Jack. The FBI made a door go "boom". Puppetmaster old guy just saw the FBI, and the Starkwood dude was giving them the wrong info. Some Bad guys from Starkwood are gonna kill the FBI guys if they keep searching. FSCK! It was just getting interesting, but Now it's over.
Be back next week.
Every Rose has it's thorn
Did You know that Every time you listen to Poison's "Every Rose has it's Thorn", you are being Lied to!
This is the Lying Lyric:
"Every Rose has it's Thorn, Just like every Cowboy sings a sad, sad song"
First of all, my sources (Wikipedia) tell me that roses don't have thorns, thorns are Modified leaves, whereas Roses have "Modified epidermal tissues" or Prickles.
Second of all, not every Cowboy sings a sad, sad song; in fact I can't even think of one. Did Clint Eastwood ever sing a sad, sad song? Did Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen ever sing a sad, sad song? Did John Wayne ever sing a sad, sad song? I think not.
This is the Lying Lyric:
"Every Rose has it's Thorn, Just like every Cowboy sings a sad, sad song"
First of all, my sources (Wikipedia) tell me that roses don't have thorns, thorns are Modified leaves, whereas Roses have "Modified epidermal tissues" or Prickles.
Second of all, not every Cowboy sings a sad, sad song; in fact I can't even think of one. Did Clint Eastwood ever sing a sad, sad song? Did Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen ever sing a sad, sad song? Did John Wayne ever sing a sad, sad song? I think not.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Earth Hour!
At 9:30, I think you should all celebrate Earth Hour! You turn off all your electricity! It's gonna be a Blast!
Help me, a former Soviet soldier has a gun to my head, and the Communists are making me do thi-
*BANG*
Hallo, Ve haff keeled ze kapatalist peeg zat you call "Geek man". Eef you do not vant a seemilar fate, zen you weel turn off all of your electreecitee at 9:30 tonight. You weel alzo surrendur to Komrade Obama.
Help me, a former Soviet soldier has a gun to my head, and the Communists are making me do thi-
*BANG*
Hallo, Ve haff keeled ze kapatalist peeg zat you call "Geek man". Eef you do not vant a seemilar fate, zen you weel turn off all of your electreecitee at 9:30 tonight. You weel alzo surrendur to Komrade Obama.
Earth Hour
today @ 9:30 everyone celebrating "earth hour" is going to shut off their power
I am not doing this cause really i think its gay
I am not doing this cause really i think its gay
Great stuff on hulu
The first awesome episode of dollhouse. Fridays at 9 on FOX.
Would put up the latest but it isn't up yet.
KNIGHT RIDER!
THE TICK!
Planet of the apes, colon, the musical!
Red Eye
Firefly
Arrested Development
Buffy
Remington Steele
Angel
His Girl Friday
Johnny Sokko and his flying robot(has 10 eps, no idea if this is entire season.)
WKRP in Cincinatti
Watch these, and if I missed anything of note, leave it in the comments w/link. all tv shows have at least one season available. The Tick only ran for 9 eps., all funny.
Would put up the latest but it isn't up yet.
KNIGHT RIDER!
THE TICK!
Planet of the apes, colon, the musical!
Red Eye
Firefly
Arrested Development
Buffy
Remington Steele
Angel
His Girl Friday
Johnny Sokko and his flying robot(has 10 eps, no idea if this is entire season.)
WKRP in Cincinatti
Watch these, and if I missed anything of note, leave it in the comments w/link. all tv shows have at least one season available. The Tick only ran for 9 eps., all funny.
Friday, March 27, 2009
I wonder
Could a Superhero, let's say Captain America, beat a ninja? I'm not talking Naruto, dressed in Orange, bright yellow hair, easy to notice Ninja, I mean like a ninja dressed all in black, completely silent, can do things like crawl on walls. By the way, they're fighting in a Post-apocalyptic wasteland that was once new york. I think the Ninja would win. A Superhero relies on Brute strength, and the Element of surprise, but a well-placed shot can bring him down easily.
ADD moment
I was reading a post on Ducky's awesome blog Ninja's Powa, when I had an ADD moment. This is what came to mind:
I could make a 2 inch stick for my computer. It keeps freezing up because I never turn it off. I never turn it off because the Power button on my computer is lost, and I have to poke my finger in it, and Although I know I won't, I can't ignore the feeling that I might get electrocuted and die with my finger in my computer, and then the Coroner would see that I died with my finger in my computer, and declare that I died of being a retard.
I could make a 2 inch stick for my computer. It keeps freezing up because I never turn it off. I never turn it off because the Power button on my computer is lost, and I have to poke my finger in it, and Although I know I won't, I can't ignore the feeling that I might get electrocuted and die with my finger in my computer, and then the Coroner would see that I died with my finger in my computer, and declare that I died of being a retard.
The Tales of Amadeus Part II
PART I
He was wearing a disguise, but I knew it was him. I waited for the signal. He was dressed kind of like Steve Irwin (moment of silence please) and talked with an Australian Accent. I was a little surprised at how well he pulled it off. Then he signaled.
He was wearing headphones, and he started singing Falco's "Rock me Amadeus", I sat in another booth with my back to him so not to cause suspicion.
"Moron Monkey, do you have the Files?"
"Yep, they're right here. The Government is in Cahoots with Jyarnikov" Sven Jyarnikov is a Swiss banker we've been investigating. We have reason to believe he was behind my Assassination attempt a year ago.
"Who in the Government?"
"All of them. Every last senator, Congressman, and governor"
"And Obama?"
"In charge of it all. I can't get you any more info, The Government thinks I'm dead"
"Why?"
"There was a bomb under my Car, Blew up my $20,000 Corvette"
"You know what this means?"
He sighed."Yes, I know"
"We have to get Jones"
"That's not going to be easy"
"I'm leaving. you leave in a half hour so It's not suspicious"
And I left. I Headed to an Abandoned shack by the Old steel Mill. I Was meeting with Jones.
He was wearing a disguise, but I knew it was him. I waited for the signal. He was dressed kind of like Steve Irwin (moment of silence please) and talked with an Australian Accent. I was a little surprised at how well he pulled it off. Then he signaled.
He was wearing headphones, and he started singing Falco's "Rock me Amadeus", I sat in another booth with my back to him so not to cause suspicion.
"Moron Monkey, do you have the Files?"
"Yep, they're right here. The Government is in Cahoots with Jyarnikov" Sven Jyarnikov is a Swiss banker we've been investigating. We have reason to believe he was behind my Assassination attempt a year ago.
"Who in the Government?"
"All of them. Every last senator, Congressman, and governor"
"And Obama?"
"In charge of it all. I can't get you any more info, The Government thinks I'm dead"
"Why?"
"There was a bomb under my Car, Blew up my $20,000 Corvette"
"You know what this means?"
He sighed."Yes, I know"
"We have to get Jones"
"That's not going to be easy"
"I'm leaving. you leave in a half hour so It's not suspicious"
And I left. I Headed to an Abandoned shack by the Old steel Mill. I Was meeting with Jones.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Great Skates
ON sunday at 6:30 I went to Great Skates with my church, and It was so incredibly AWESOME! I played Lazer tag, Ice abll. and that Jackpot thing. It was so awesome, but I fell 14 times over 4 laps (lap one: 10/ Lap 2: 3/ lap three: 0/ lap 4: 1). A lot of people at my church can skate really well. I like Great Skates.
Monday, March 23, 2009
24
ALRIGHT! Let's do this thing!
They're doing a forensics sweep of Senator that 70's show's house, and They just found out that Bauer is nowhere to be found. Jack is in a truck talking on the phone to Almeda, And tony is going to help jack, President Woman President is telling her husband that it's all over. It's not, but she doesn't know that.
Some dude who works for Pres. Woman Pres. is telling her that Bauer killed Senator that 70's show, and resigning from his position as... OH! He's the chief of staff! He's resigning because he thinks it's all his fault. Some Cop is talking to his wife, and I think he's going to die. Jack got him and is pointing a gun at him. Jack is squeezing some info out of him, and I don't really understand what he's talking about.
Some dude is talking to Puppetmaster Old guy, who says they should wait 5 minutes, then go somewhere. Puppetmaster old guy is yelling to some people and getting yelled at. Everyone is asking some guy questions. Bauer is interrogating a cop in, surprise! an abandoned warehouse! Jack told the cop to play along to some call on the radio. Tony is telling bauer that there are three vehicles outside, and the Cop is going to open the gate for them.
the Cop opened the Gate for the bad people. The guy who just resigned is lecturing Pres. Woman Pres.'s Daughter. They're noticing some things that don't make sense when investigating Senator that 70's show's house. FBI chick want's to help Larry Moss, but Larry Moss won't let her. The bad guys are taking one of those really big boxes that they put on boats. Jack is climing on the boxes. Tony and Jack are going to steal the package, and I think the bad guys are going to kill the cop. Yep, I was right. Jack is going to take out the killer with a silenced assult rifle. Tony says not to, but he did it anyway. THey;re trying to get into the truck and steal the package. THe Package is a biological weapon.
They're looking for the dead guy who killed the cop, and now Tony and Jack are killing them all. Tony and Jack vs. nine guys? Come on, this is so easy. Jack's going after the truck and tony's covering him, and this scene is incredibly AWESOME!!! The four guys remaining are looking for tony and jack. That''s two a person, EASY! tony just beat the &$#% out of some guy and is going to get beat up by some moron who could just kill him. He's anking where Jack is, and of course, they go to commercial.
Jack's calling Larry Moss and telling him what's happening, and that they need to send teams to where he is, and that Tony is being held hostage. There is an odd hissing sound, and the big rig has a big tear in it. This is a very bad thing. he found the leak on the Bio-bomb, and turned it off with a turing thingamajig. He just did a jumping summersault over a fence. Man, Jack Bauer can make Gymnastics AWESOME! He being shot at by the Bad guys, who just stole the Big Rig. puppetmaster old guy is ready, and Larry Moss's team is redirecting their people to the Military base to the West of Bauer. And it ends.
See ya next week!
They're doing a forensics sweep of Senator that 70's show's house, and They just found out that Bauer is nowhere to be found. Jack is in a truck talking on the phone to Almeda, And tony is going to help jack, President Woman President is telling her husband that it's all over. It's not, but she doesn't know that.
Some dude who works for Pres. Woman Pres. is telling her that Bauer killed Senator that 70's show, and resigning from his position as... OH! He's the chief of staff! He's resigning because he thinks it's all his fault. Some Cop is talking to his wife, and I think he's going to die. Jack got him and is pointing a gun at him. Jack is squeezing some info out of him, and I don't really understand what he's talking about.
Some dude is talking to Puppetmaster Old guy, who says they should wait 5 minutes, then go somewhere. Puppetmaster old guy is yelling to some people and getting yelled at. Everyone is asking some guy questions. Bauer is interrogating a cop in, surprise! an abandoned warehouse! Jack told the cop to play along to some call on the radio. Tony is telling bauer that there are three vehicles outside, and the Cop is going to open the gate for them.
the Cop opened the Gate for the bad people. The guy who just resigned is lecturing Pres. Woman Pres.'s Daughter. They're noticing some things that don't make sense when investigating Senator that 70's show's house. FBI chick want's to help Larry Moss, but Larry Moss won't let her. The bad guys are taking one of those really big boxes that they put on boats. Jack is climing on the boxes. Tony and Jack are going to steal the package, and I think the bad guys are going to kill the cop. Yep, I was right. Jack is going to take out the killer with a silenced assult rifle. Tony says not to, but he did it anyway. THey;re trying to get into the truck and steal the package. THe Package is a biological weapon.
They're looking for the dead guy who killed the cop, and now Tony and Jack are killing them all. Tony and Jack vs. nine guys? Come on, this is so easy. Jack's going after the truck and tony's covering him, and this scene is incredibly AWESOME!!! The four guys remaining are looking for tony and jack. That''s two a person, EASY! tony just beat the &$#% out of some guy and is going to get beat up by some moron who could just kill him. He's anking where Jack is, and of course, they go to commercial.
Jack's calling Larry Moss and telling him what's happening, and that they need to send teams to where he is, and that Tony is being held hostage. There is an odd hissing sound, and the big rig has a big tear in it. This is a very bad thing. he found the leak on the Bio-bomb, and turned it off with a turing thingamajig. He just did a jumping summersault over a fence. Man, Jack Bauer can make Gymnastics AWESOME! He being shot at by the Bad guys, who just stole the Big Rig. puppetmaster old guy is ready, and Larry Moss's team is redirecting their people to the Military base to the West of Bauer. And it ends.
See ya next week!
What do Barrack Obama and Oprah Winfry have in common
They're both named after bad people in the bible. I'm not talking Cain bad, but just listen.
Barrack Obama constantly says his name is NOT from the Koran, so maybe it's from the bible, Just look at judges 4:6-9
6 She [Deborah] sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. 7 I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' 8 Barak said to her, If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go. 9 Very well, Deborah said, I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honour will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman. So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh.
Although Obama's name is spelled Barrack, and the one who disobeyed the orders of the lord is named Barak, it's not that uncommon.
Oprah's name is a misspelling of Orpah, now let's look at Ruth 1:14-15
14 At this they (Orpah and Ruth) and wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth clung to her. 15 Look, said Naomi, your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her. 16 But Ruth replied, Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
So Orpah left the Lord and went to worship false gods in another place. Not a good thing.
Barrack Obama constantly says his name is NOT from the Koran, so maybe it's from the bible, Just look at judges 4:6-9
6 She [Deborah] sent for Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, The LORD, the God of Israel, commands you: 'Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor. 7 I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin's army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.' 8 Barak said to her, If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go. 9 Very well, Deborah said, I will go with you. But because of the way you are going about this, the honour will not be yours, for the LORD will hand Sisera over to a woman. So Deborah went with Barak to Kedesh.
Although Obama's name is spelled Barrack, and the one who disobeyed the orders of the lord is named Barak, it's not that uncommon.
Oprah's name is a misspelling of Orpah, now let's look at Ruth 1:14-15
14 At this they (Orpah and Ruth) and wept again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye, but Ruth clung to her. 15 Look, said Naomi, your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her. 16 But Ruth replied, Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
So Orpah left the Lord and went to worship false gods in another place. Not a good thing.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
There are bad pick up lines and there are Horrible pick up lines. Geuss witch ones these have
Ok, this is just hilarious.
Friday, March 20, 2009
The Tales of Amadeus Part I
This is a story in Serial form. This story is based upon a man known only as Amadeus, a close friend to Moron Monkey 26. Enjoy.
(Story start)
I darted through the night, I had no clue where I was going, all I knew was I had to get away from here. I was in Washington, D.C., being chased by Secret Service agents. I had no clue what I was going to do when I got away, but that didn't matter. I saw an escape, i took it.
There was a sewer grate. Not my favorite getaway, but it was the only option. I Took out my Semi-auto and blew the bolts off of it. I jumped onto it and fell 10 feet into a foot of raw Sewage. Again, if I had any other choice I would have taken it. I got up and trudged through the muck, feeling sicker with every step. I pulled a flashlight and map of the city from my Messenger bag and guided my way through, until I was completely sure that I was just above a grate in front of a gym. I got out and went in.
I got through the doors with a credit card (they try to make doors that don't work that way, but if you move the card just right...) and took a long shower. I got into a change of clothes from my messenger bag, and threw the others in the trash. I hid until sunrise. A 3:00 PM, I left the gym and got into a car. I broke open the Dash and hot wired it. Via email, I told F ( Codename Moron Monkey) Where to find me.
I sat at the bar and order a Virgin Cuba Libre (Rum and coke without the rum) and watched F Come in.
(Story start)
I darted through the night, I had no clue where I was going, all I knew was I had to get away from here. I was in Washington, D.C., being chased by Secret Service agents. I had no clue what I was going to do when I got away, but that didn't matter. I saw an escape, i took it.
There was a sewer grate. Not my favorite getaway, but it was the only option. I Took out my Semi-auto and blew the bolts off of it. I jumped onto it and fell 10 feet into a foot of raw Sewage. Again, if I had any other choice I would have taken it. I got up and trudged through the muck, feeling sicker with every step. I pulled a flashlight and map of the city from my Messenger bag and guided my way through, until I was completely sure that I was just above a grate in front of a gym. I got out and went in.
I got through the doors with a credit card (they try to make doors that don't work that way, but if you move the card just right...) and took a long shower. I got into a change of clothes from my messenger bag, and threw the others in the trash. I hid until sunrise. A 3:00 PM, I left the gym and got into a car. I broke open the Dash and hot wired it. Via email, I told F ( Codename Moron Monkey) Where to find me.
I sat at the bar and order a Virgin Cuba Libre (Rum and coke without the rum) and watched F Come in.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
daily "fact"
Jack Bauer never got a driver's license, because he was always talking on his cell phone, even thought it hadn't been invented yet.
twittering the twits
Another Twitter follower! I am getting close to my goal of having more followers than people I'm following.
Monday, March 16, 2009
24
Jack is still running away from Various sirens. He broke into a car and is Hot-wiring it. Jack is on the move. Chloe's husband is angry, and a security guard (ooh! it's president Allstate guy!) is escorting him to a waiting room. FBI nerd is saying FBI chick can't know that some guy died. Jack has a laptop and is messing with his cell phone. apparently he has mastered the art of driving with no hands. Jack Bauer found out that random hospital guy killed Senator that 70's show's assistant.
Puppet master old guy is angry about Collateral Damage. Random Hospital guy is John Quinn. FBI chick is arguing with Larry Moss. Pres. Woman Pres. is back with her boring boring daughter. Everyone thinks Bauer killed Senator That 70's Show's assistant. Chief of staff Boring guy says jack did it, but Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter says otherwise.
FBI chick is arguing with Larry Moss over Jack's Innocence. Senator that 70's show came back and the alarm had been triggered, something tells me jack's in here. Jack has his gun to Senator that 70's show. Jack: If i wanted to kill you you'd be dead already. Sen. that 70's show: There's no connection between Puppet master Old guy and General Genocide.
Jack won't dignify Senator that 70's show's question with a response. Pres. Woman Pres. is making a press conference. This is really boring. No one in the FBI can find Bauer 'cause he's awesome. Only Chloe can unencrypt the file sent from FBI chick to Bauer. Wow, I just realized how short FBI nerd is. They went to Chloe's husband, and he won't do it. well, he will now.
Bauer can't be stopped. Chloe's husband is going to help them get bauer, but Chloe is yelling at him for it. blah blah blah, Morals, ethics, Senator That 70's show is so boring. Quinn killed some informant too. Genocide was getting a Bio Weapon, and people were dying and I really don't care, WHERE is the TORTURE!?!
Puppet master Old guy is planning to use a Bio weapon against The senate or something. Senator that 70's show is now helping Bauer. The people at the door weren't the Police, and they shot Senator that 70's show, and jack's on the run again. More drama about Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter. Jack's getting chased and shot at by some random guy. I've seen FBI vs. Jack, Genocide's troops vs. Jack, but I never thought I'd see one man vs. Jack. Jack is taking out Random shooty guy. Jack is kicking butt. No taking names, though.I think shooty guy's dead. Nope, just dying. The weapons are already here. Now orders are to shoot Jack on sight, becasue they think that he killed Senator that 70's show. Ok, seriously, since when does a knife work as a car key?
The end. See you next week.
Puppet master old guy is angry about Collateral Damage. Random Hospital guy is John Quinn. FBI chick is arguing with Larry Moss. Pres. Woman Pres. is back with her boring boring daughter. Everyone thinks Bauer killed Senator That 70's Show's assistant. Chief of staff Boring guy says jack did it, but Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter says otherwise.
FBI chick is arguing with Larry Moss over Jack's Innocence. Senator that 70's show came back and the alarm had been triggered, something tells me jack's in here. Jack has his gun to Senator that 70's show. Jack: If i wanted to kill you you'd be dead already. Sen. that 70's show: There's no connection between Puppet master Old guy and General Genocide.
Jack won't dignify Senator that 70's show's question with a response. Pres. Woman Pres. is making a press conference. This is really boring. No one in the FBI can find Bauer 'cause he's awesome. Only Chloe can unencrypt the file sent from FBI chick to Bauer. Wow, I just realized how short FBI nerd is. They went to Chloe's husband, and he won't do it. well, he will now.
Bauer can't be stopped. Chloe's husband is going to help them get bauer, but Chloe is yelling at him for it. blah blah blah, Morals, ethics, Senator That 70's show is so boring. Quinn killed some informant too. Genocide was getting a Bio Weapon, and people were dying and I really don't care, WHERE is the TORTURE!?!
Puppet master Old guy is planning to use a Bio weapon against The senate or something. Senator that 70's show is now helping Bauer. The people at the door weren't the Police, and they shot Senator that 70's show, and jack's on the run again. More drama about Pres. Woman Pres.'s daughter. Jack's getting chased and shot at by some random guy. I've seen FBI vs. Jack, Genocide's troops vs. Jack, but I never thought I'd see one man vs. Jack. Jack is taking out Random shooty guy. Jack is kicking butt. No taking names, though.I think shooty guy's dead. Nope, just dying. The weapons are already here. Now orders are to shoot Jack on sight, becasue they think that he killed Senator that 70's show. Ok, seriously, since when does a knife work as a car key?
The end. See you next week.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
ABP
Adblocker plus is the best adblocker 4 fire fox like i c no ads if anyone dosn't know how 2 uses it email me and i'll give a tutorial
Come ON
Now, I know it's bad for business to Badmouth our Visitors, which is why I've been trying really hard to not Insult Canadians, but COME ON! you've got to be kidding me!
Blgwrer Slogan Contest only has two suggestions, TWO! That's not even what I'm angry about! Both have been in the form of Comments on the Post "Blgwrer Slogan contest"! Seriously, what part of "Email" don't you understand!?! My address is right there Jacoby.eric@gmail.com
What part of this don't you get, readers?
Blgwrer Slogan Contest only has two suggestions, TWO! That's not even what I'm angry about! Both have been in the form of Comments on the Post "Blgwrer Slogan contest"! Seriously, what part of "Email" don't you understand!?! My address is right there Jacoby.eric@gmail.com
What part of this don't you get, readers?
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